Burning Desire For FIRE

Financially Independent, Retired Early(ish) at 57.

Category: Enjoying life right now. (Page 13 of 25)

Day 3: Greenwich

September 9, 2023 / / 5 Comments

Today turned out to be another very hot day in London. My arrival coincided with one of the biggest heat waves on record here. Day after day of 30C heat.

Of course, I turned up wearing merino wool, almost from head to toe. This week was going to be a test for the dress and the t shirts!

Greenwich village is a little way down from London proper, but a short ride on the tube, the monorail and a short walk was all that was required to get me to the first stop of the day. 

The Queen’s House.

I got there a little early so I settled myself on the balcony outside and gazed at this glorious view. Isn’t it beautiful? It’s the perfect mix of old and new.

Then I saw Deana approaching across the lawn. She was giving me a Greenwich tour for my birthday.

Deana and I met eight years ago when I announced on the frog blog that I was going over to the UK. She emailed and introduced herself, explaining that she’d read the blog for years and invited me to stay at her place for a few days. 

She didn’t sound like an axe murderer so I accepted. I spent 3 happy days with Deana and her family, and she took me to see Hever Castle ( Anne Boleyn’s childhood home), Jane Austen’s house in Hampshirite, which is an absolute Must See) and Canterbury Cathedral.

It’s been a long time between visits, but here we are again!

The Queen’s house has an interesting history that, if I was blogging on my laptop I’d link to it, but I’m not so you”ll have to do it yourself. It has many beautiful things in it, but I was here to see one thing in particular- the Armada portrait of Elizabeth I.

There are a lot of paintings here, which isn’t surprising as the house was an art studio during Charles II’s reign. He allowed a family of maritime Dutch painters to work here, so there are MANY paintings of maritime battles and such. Yet there are other paintings hidden among them that delighted me as well.

I loved this painting, It’s a Rembrandt, called “Christ and St Mary Magdalene at the tomb.” It’s depicting when she sees Christ and realised that the impossible has happened and he’s risen from the dead.

He is sporting a nice sun hat. I guess it’s sensible – it’s warm in the Middle East.

This one is really cool. It’s “The Parting Cheer” by O’Neil. It’s showing the pain and heartbreak of those left behind when their loved ones sail away towards a new life. I love that there’s one little girl who’s aware of our presence and is looking straight at us.

These paintings are of the Normandy landings in 1944, by Stephen Bone. They think they were painted on the spot because there are traces of sand caught in the paint.

Look at the beauty of the Tulip Stairs.

We loved them!

Charles II gave permission for a father and son team to live at the Queen’s House and paint. Here is a picture of the father, Willem van der Velda. It’s thought that the parchment he’s holding was originally blank, but his son, (same name but with “the younger “ attached) painted some plans that his father had been working on. Sort of like saying, “This is what my Dad did.”

This is an engraved Nautilus shell. I actually have one of these in my china cabinet at home. My grandmother Dolly found it on a beach in Queensland and was so happy about it. This one is far larger than mine, but I know how delicate they are. Being able to carve into one is great craftsmanship.

This is a very early Australian painting. The emu isn’t bad, but the kangaroos are a little chunky.

look at the next two pictures. I never knew this guy existed. Imagine if he had’ve lived? Maybe England wouldn’t have executed their king? It’s funny how history exists on the spin of a coin sometimes.

Poor thing.

Here’s his mum, Anne of Denmark. Notice her pearls. I’ll be referring to them a bit later on.

Mary I, ( Henry VIII’ daughter, also known as’Bloody Mary’ because she burnt a few Protestants at the stake) and her husband Phillip II of Spain.

Poor Mary led a thwarted life. Henry VIII has a lot to answer for when it comes to the women in his life.

Henry VIi , who defeated Richard II and ended the War of the Roses. He doesn’t look too happy about it. Below is his grandson Edward, Henry VIII’s long desired son. It’s sad to think that he died at 16, poor boy.

His big sister Elizabeth, looking regal. A guide here told us that Elizabeth had once had a miniature painted of her, and forever after, she insisted that anyone who painted her had to copy her face from that miniature.

It must’ve been like getting a great driver’s licence photo. You want to hang on to it forever.

Here he is. The man whose grave I’ll be standing on in 3 day’s time.

Charles I and his wife Henrietta Maria. He believed so strongly in the divine right of kings that he refused to compromise and move with the times. It ended up costing him his head.

Remember him. He comes up again a few days later.

And then I walked into a room the same as all the others… and there she was.

Queen Elizabeth I, after the English had kicked Spanish butts when they tried to invade. Remember the portrait of Mary I and her husband Phillip?

He was the one who tried to take England from Elizabeth. What an arse.

anyway, look at how she’s standing proudly. One hand is on a globe of the world, with her finger pointing to Virginia, the first colony in America and the first one named after her.

Her gown is embroidered with the sun and moon symbols. In medieval portraiture, the king is the sun and the queen the moon. She is stating that she embodies both.

the panels at the back show before and after pictures of the Spanish armada. Really rubbing it in.

and look at those pearls. Look familiar? Anne of Denmark has recycled them and worn them in a different way in her portrait.

I was a little bit happy. Here’s a few close-ups

Look at the pearls. They have an iridescence about them.

It’s also a statement of wealth. Pearls were horrendously expensive back then, as they had to be dived for and searched for. Therefore, having strings of matched pearls like this is a tremendous show of wealth.

And look at the feathers in this fan!

I was so happy to see this portrait. What a piece of history! She’s saying to the world, “ Phillip fucked around and found out. Don’t mess with me.”

I love it.

After that feast for the eyes, we sat in a shaded spot and ate the picnic Deana brought. Then it was a walk up a VERY steep hill to see The Royal Observatory. This is where the famous meridian line is located.
Here I am doing the obligatory photo with one foot east and one west. It had Sydney, Canberra and Hobart, but no Melbourne.

We wandered around the cobbled courtyard and found ourselves at a little balcony overlooking the wonderful view we’d seen before. Then I saw a sign directing people to the Camera Obscura.

Obviously I couldn’t take a photo in the dark, but trust me – the picture that was projected down from the mirror in the chimney was a perfect representation of The Queen’s House. What made it even more memorable was that it wasn’t a static image, like a photograph. Every time a car went past, you could see it moving, which really brought home that we’re not just looking at a photograph, but we’re seeing the space in real time.

Remember the photo at the top of this post? Here’s the same view but from the hill at the Observatory. There’s the Queen’s House.


Next stop was a look through the house that a long succession of Head Guys of the Observatory lived. One poor woman had 9 kids on top of that hill in a house where all the rooms run into each other. At least the constant breeze up there meant that drying the washing would be… well, a breeze!

I took a snap of this dress. It belonged to the daughter of one of those guys and it’s so wonderfully Georgette Heyer.

The bottom part of the building was devoted to watches, clocks and the quest to find longitude. (Or is it latitude? I can never remember which.)

This sort of stuff didn’t grab me much, but I found this clock very interesting. 

We discovered there was an easier way done, so we took it, ambling back down and talking all the way to The Cutty Sark.

This was really interesting. The Curry Sark was a clipper that was primarily used for delivering tea. She used to swing by Australia to pick up bales of wool. Considering the distances she travelled, she was small. The men who signed up to sail on her were clearly crazy.

As soon as I stepped into the ship, I could smell tea. Deana didn’t, until I mentioned it, but then again, she’s English. About three quarters of the liquid components in her body would be tea.

I liked this one- how a lot of guys took the opportunity to get a free trip to Australia!

This was on the deck near the steering wheel. I felt sorry for him.

After seeing all that there was to see on the ship, we settled down on a shaded part of the deck and had a good chat. We lost track of time and were interrupted by a member of staff who wanted to clear the ship before locking up.

We weren’t ready to call it a day, so Deana suggested that we find a pub with a garden. I have to say, that gin and tonic with lime went down a treat. It was growing dark when we parted.

I admit that the Underground bamboozled me towards the end of the journey, but I fell in with a really nice Canadian couple who were also looking for Aldgate East. We all made it home.

I’m so lucky. What a way to see out my 50’s! Thanks Deana.

Day 2: London- Buckingham Palace.

September 7, 2023 / / 10 Comments

I woke up bright and early and scampered downstairs for the first hotel breakfast of the holiday. Scrambled eggs, bacon, yoghurt, half, a bagel with jam, washed down with a black coffee. 

Do I ever make cooked breakfasts at home? Never! But on holidays, they’re irresistible.

I’d prebooked my tickets for today a couple of weeks in advance, which I was thankful for when I heard people being turned away from the palace tour because they were all booked out.

The plan for today was as follows: 

  1. Get to the Victoria monument outside Buckingham Palace by 10:30 to secure a spot right in the middle. Stand at the front at all costs.
  2. After the changing of the guard finishes, go to Green Park and eat.
  3. At 12:45, the first tour starts.
  4. At 2, the second tour starts. Set an alarm on the phone.
  5. At 3:15, the final tour starts. Again – alarm.

It was an itinerary worthy of the master of itineraries himself, which is of course my friend Scott.

It’s a short walk from Victoria station to the palace, which I discovered on the way back. On this walk, Citymapper inexplicably led me down all sorts of streets, so in the end I followed the crowds and all was good. 

I walked across the square to the Victoria monument, walked through the barricade gate and parked myself directly next to it at the front. Fortunate Frogdancer struck again, as they closed that gate about a minute after I passed through. Phew!!!

a few minutes later, a policeman was walking past and I asked him if I was in a good spot to see things. He smiled and said, “I’d say you’re in a very good spot, madam!”

It was a long wait in the sun. I was standing next to a very tall man from Massachusetts, and I discreetly used him for shade. 

Then we saw these guys sneaking out from the back. The police started to urgently request that people stay off the road… we all knew that it was about to happen.

Then from far away, we heard music. Rousing marching music, heavy on the drum beats. Then, to my left, soldiers marching! Bright red coats! Straight into the left hand side gates and out of sight.

Well damn…

But I had faith in what the policeman said. After all, he called me “madam.” I’ve never been called that before in my life. It sounds so proper and… well…posh.

The band that led the soldiers in then gave a concert. They were behind the fence of the Palace, but we could see them. A couple of the songs they played were ‘Eleanor Rigby’ and ‘ Sweet Child of Mine.’ They were really good.

Then this happened:

And then this:

Yes, I know the horses are very close, but they were that close.

After the fun of the changing of the guard was done, I walked to Green Park to have lunch. Lunch actually consisted of two crushed snack bars that I’d brought from Australia and really needed to either eat or throw out.

Green Park is right beside Buckingham Palace. I sat on the grass under a tree, licking the crumbled mess from the packets of what remained of a couple of Carmen’s cranberry and oat bars after they’d been halfway around the world in a bag where a lot was crammed into.

It wasn’t the greatest lunch. In fact, it was pretty awful. But it was MY lunch, and here I was sitting in Green Park watching a couple of ponies walk around. This never happens at home. I was the happiest woman in the world.

The first tour- Georgian fashion.

I spent my teenage years reading the novels of Georgette Heyer. She wrote across a few different genres but she’s mostly known for her Regency romances. She’s a FAR better writer than the Bridgerton woman (ugh), and so I’ve always had a fondness for the Georgian era. This exhibition was ticking all the boxes.

Princess Sophia was like me – born as blind as a bat.

Unlike me, she didn’t have access to laser eye surgery, so she wore these very attractive glasses. She would have been described in Georgette Heyer novels as “ a good looking young woman, but with a squint.”

Queen Charlotte… yes, THE Queen Charlotte from the Netflix series!

This is from the description card:

Exceptionally time-consuming to make, fine lace lappets could be one of the most expensive elements of an outfit. The bobbin lace technique required the skilful management of multiple bobbins (sometimes up to 800 at a time) of bone or wood wrapped with linen thread. One full-time lacemaker working from 5am to 8pm might produce approximately half a metre per year. Sets of lace made by the same hand were most highly prized due to their uniformity. Lappets had passed out of fashion by the middle of the eighteenth century, but remained an obligatory component of court dress for many decades after.

You could fit a wide screen tv under that dress!

Here’s what Bonnie Prince Charlie looked like. It’s sad, seeing some of these portraits and knowing how their lives ended up. Speaking of which…

Marie Antoinette.

Then it was time for my tour of the Royal Mews.

I arrived just in time for the guided tour. I much prefer these to the Audio tours as you hear all of the stuff plus a little goss as well.

Apparently the word “mews” is originally associated with falcons. The Mews was where they were taken when they were moulting, or “mewling.”  Overall er time, the royal horses were moved across to join them and ever since, the word “mews” has been associated with stabling horses.

We only saw 2 horses – the rest are out in the country having a break from work – but we were taken to see the carriages. I didn’t know that all of the royal vehicles are the same colour; even the helicopters. It’s a practical, serviceable colour. Not what I’d have chosen but then, I’m not qualified to choose.

The highlight was of course seeing the huge golden coach. It was massive! And when I say GOLD, I mean GOLD.  Real gold.

It weighs 4 tons and it takes 8 horses to drive it. 

Here’s a picture of the brakes. 

It’s too big to get out of the doors, so when it’s needed for a coronation they dismantle one of the walls to manoeuvre it out. 

When the queen was asked about her ride in it, she said that she felt seasick because it rocked all over the place like a ship in a rough sea.

The final tour was of the palace staterooms. No photos were allowed, and also no climbing, apparently.

This tour was full of art, impressive rooms and many pictures of Charles and Camilla.
I saw her coronation dress. I glanced down at the hem, then looked again. Was… was that a dog’s head stitched in gold? Turns out she had her two dogs, plus the names of her children and grandchildren embroidered on the gown.

After the tour, I thought It’d try my luck again with the DevonshireTea thing. Ahhh, that’s the stuff! I knew my monarch wouldn’t let me down!

After a quick swing by the gift shop, where I bought a tin of shortbread which is too heavy to bring home (but not if the tin is empty) I began the long walk back to the city outside through the park at the back.

I was forging ahead, when I thought, ‘ What’s the hurry? When are you ever going to be here again?’ So at the next empty bench, I sat and gazed at the view in front of me.

it was a green lawn, ringed by trees. I sat, thinking over the day I’d had, when suddenly I saw a movement.

it was a squirrel! My first this trip. I watched, entranced, as it raced up a tree, so quickly, zigzagging it’s way to the top.

Then another! And another!

As oblivious weary tourists trudged their way toward the gate, I watched.
The place was alive with them.

What a nice way to end the day.

Tomorrow- Greenwich!

Day 1- London.

September 5, 2023 / / 8 Comments

At last I’m back!

Long time readers would know that I’ve always wanted to go to England. I’ve always loved the history of the place and read everything I could about it. I planned my trip to the UK and Europe when I was 15, but due to being all-too-practical in my younger years … “!’ll finish my teaching degree and THEN I’ll go!” … and then life, babies and single parenthood… I eventually ended up going when I was 51. Talk about delayed gratification!

I had the trip of a lifetime. 9 weeks travelling around the UK and Europe, seeing all the main things I always wanted to see and denying myself NOTHING. I’ve never tatted up the cost of that trip. But however much it cost, it was worth every penny.

I never dreamed that it’d be 8 long years until I set foot here again, but I’m back:. It’s going to be a different sort of trip this time. Last time I was a very unseasoned traveller and my dear friend Scott planned every day for me. I wasn’t really aware of it at the time, but he was gradually educating me in how to travel; beginning by mansplaining everything ( thank god!) and sticking by my side, then gradually stepping back and letting me learn to navigate by myself around Pais for a day, then sending me off to Bath for 3 days on my own.

This time, after going to North Korea with friends and then Antarctica on my own, (where I met fantastic new friends), I planned the itinerary myself, with days by myself, a tour around Ireland for two weeks, all interspersed with catching up with people I’ve met on my travels. It’s going to be so much fun!

I jumped off the plane bright and early and 6 AM and after buying a sim at the airport, I took the tube to Kings Cross station. Honestly, this whole place is a big Monopoly game. My plan was to stow my carry-on suitcase for the day so that I could visit some museums, then pick it up and take a train to my hotel.

The man at the baggage check was very helpful. “Your day is going to be challenging,” he said. “Many tube lines are closed.”

He got out his phone and I told him whereI wanted to go. Fortunate Frogdancer picked places that were accessible by the Piccadilly line , which was open. Sadly, my hotel was not. I left that problem for Future Frogdancer to work out and I went on my way.

First stop was The Wallace Collection. Scott and I visited it back in 2015, when I was enraptured by seeing The Laughing Cavalier. I have a postcard of him on my fridge to this day.

Look at the lace on his cuffs! You’d swear it was a photo.

And look at his collar. Incredible. Legend has it that this is an engagement painting.

Another reason why I wanted to come back here was that they were hosting an exhibition of dogs. Naturally, this is right up my alley.

Here is my Thrill of the Day. ‘The Cavalier’s Pets’ by Landseer. I have had a print of this hanging in my house since before I was married. The boys have never known life without it being there. And now, casually hanging in a gallery- here it is.

I was so excited! It was huge! I stood there and beamed at it like I was meeting an old friend. It was a wonderful surprise.

Da Vinci, anyone? As in Leonardo. Are you kidding me?

I was excited to see this one because the tricolour Cavalier on the left is Dash- Queen Victoria’s beloved pet when she was young. After her coronation, she went home, took off all her regalia and gave Dash his bath.

Here’s a sketch she drew of her Daschund , Waldmann. She clearly had good taste in her dog breeds.

Read the panel next to the portrait. It’s an interesting story.

I took a photo of this pup, not from any artistic merit but because I was going to the Sir John Shane’s museum next, and here is a picture of the dog that he loved.

Then I wandered through the rest of the collection.

It’s amazing how really old and famous artists pop up as if out of nowhere. How about a Rembrandt?

A bust of Napoleon.

A young Josephine.

I wandered around for nearly 2 hours, then boldly headed off towards my next museum – The Sir John Soanes museum.

Where I found the same dog. But the dog isn’t the point of this museum.

I didn’t know anything much about Sir John Soanes, except that he was an architect and an avid collector of things. But everyone I spoke to said that it was a must see. 


This house was incredible. It was designed purely to display his collection in the best light. And when I say light, I mean that he had hundreds of mirrors put in to bounce the light from the extra windows he’d built. I was there on a very bright day, but I could imagine that even on a dark, winery day, this house would be well lit.

At the end of his life he arranged with politician friends to have a law made to protect his collection by donating it to the nation. The reason he did this was a bit sad. He’d lost his wife and elder son, and his younger son was a spendthrift and wastrel who hated his father and his collection. Rather than have his son break apart the collection and sell it all off, this was his solution. 

Lucky for us!

Apollo. Plus hundreds of other antiquities. Some real, some plaster casts. But they were everywhere. I was glad I had put my carryon in a locker and my handbag in the cloakroom. Imagine if you knocked one over!

He also bought a 3,000 year old sarcophagus.
As you do. The bottom part of the house is like a crypt, with everything being about death. The light from the roof is designed to highlight it.

It has hieroglyphics outside…

… and in. The guy who discovered it in Egypt brought it back to England and tried to sell it to the British museum for £3000. This was too much for the museum, particularly after they’d just bought the Elgin Marbles from the Parthenon in Athens, and so he didn’t have a buyer. After he died, his widow dropped the price to £2000 and Sir John Soanes swooped. He knew it was there, he designed the space for it and he was waiting for the price to drop.

The whole place looks like this. No wonder he was devastated when his wife died. No other woman would have put up with this.

Imagine the dusting!

The Wallace Collection has a rule that nothing in the house can ever be removed. Sir John Sloane went one further and decreed that nothing in his collection could ever be MOVED. So we are seeing everything exactly as he wanted it to be seen. 

Anyway, go and see it. It’s got far more than I’ve shown you.

Once finished here, I decided to take a walk to the Foundling hospital. This is a sad place. The guy who started it was a sea captain who arrived back in London one day and was horrified to see all of the abandoned babies left in the streets. This was in 1722, which wasn’t exactly known for its effective birth control and social safety net.

it took him SEVENTEEN YEARS before the king and other influential figures gave him the funding. You see, he wasn’t a gentleman…

There were so many women who couldn’t support their children that they had to run a ballot system to select which babies they’d take, and which wouldn’t be. It was said that there was just as much crying from those that were rejected as from those that were accepted.
The mothers used to give tokens with their babies, so that if ever they were in a position to reclaim their child, they’d have a way to show that they were getting the right child.

Here are a few of the tokens up close:

Being a single mother myself, I can clearly imagine the distress and heartache these women would have felt, but at least this way they had hope that their child would have a better life. These tokens were so sad…

Here’s the room where all of the baby ballots happened. If theses walls could talk…

And a cruel reminder of how unequal society was, this (frankly, overdecorated) room was where the wealthy would come to shmooze and feel good about themselves and their financial donations.

if you’re a fan of Handel- come and see this place. He was a huge supporter of this place and the top floor has one of the best museums about him. Sadly, lost on me…

Then I was walking towards the last place on my list – The Charles Dickens museum.

This was a house that he and his family only lived in for a few years, and I noticed that a lot of the furniture and Knick-knacks were brought from the last house he lived in, but that’s ok I guess. At least they were all genuine Dickens memorabilia.

Here’s his desk. Just like when Deana and I saw Jane Austen’s writing table back in 2015, I had to touch it.

I even had the same ring on my finger!

I love how they’ve recycled this keystone into a decoration of the garden in the cafe. My feet were tired and I wanted to try a scone, jam and cream with REAL clotted cream. It’s been 8 long years…

It was ok… but they were a bit light on with the cream. It was just like normal whipped cream. This wasn’t the thing I’ve remembered fondly from 8 years ago! I walked back to Kings Cross station to pick up my case, feeling vaguely cheated.

Until I saw a pink McLaren. That made me laugh!

Who lived the better life? It all depends…

August 29, 2023 / / 12 Comments

Last week I knocked back a day of teaching to have lunch with an old friend. I’ve known Max since Evan26 was Evan2. Back in those days I was struggling to keep my head above water financially, while Max was single, with only one son who lived primarily with his mother. In other words, his paycheque was his own to do with as he would.

Max likes to socialise by going out for meals, so back in those days he’d sweep me off for dinner every now and then and I’d have the (rare to me) pleasure of eating a meal not cooked for the tastebuds of toddlers. Our lives have always been very different.

Max is really into Eastern religion, meditation and yoga. He travels widely, usually to sunny, warm places where he can soak up the sun and relax. It seemed to me that he was out and about nearly every day of the week, going to parties, dinners and lunches, which was a vast contrast to my life of being stuck at home with my 4 small boys all the time. Delayed gratification was never a thing he was a fan of, whereas to me, it was all I had to hope for.

Fast forward twenty-five years.

The four kids I was raising on my own are now off my hands, (pretty much.) All of them are living productive, creative lives and two are settled with long-term partners. I’ve reached financial independence and now, after decades of being tied to staying at home with the family while they were young, I’m now finally free to travel and spend my days how I choose.

I’m happy. I’m turning 60 next week and I’m looking forward to the next delicious stage of my life.

Max has now retired at 69 years of age. He’s on the Aged pension, living in a unit he’s paying off. He lives with his son, who is now 40 and is a recovering heroin addict. Max would love to sell or rent out his unit and live overseas in a warm climate, living off the proceeds of the sale or rent. However, he’s stuck, because his son has nowhere else to go because he’s unable to work.

Max has chosen to remain pretty much computer-illiterate. This has left him as an easy mark, which some woman found out when she scammed him out of 16K recently over the phone. Why does this happen to people who can least afford it?

He knows that he’s left it very late to improve his finances and he’s flailing around, trying to put things in place to produce an income for the future.

He put a few grand into cryptocurrency, which of course he doesn’t understand.

He’s excited about the 20% per MONTH returns that he’s been promised. I asked him if he personally had seen returns like this. The night before we met for lunch, he received his first dividend payment, so he thought, “Oh, this works,” so he put in another 10K. I thought, ‘Isn’t this a classic way they reel people in?‘ He said that the woman he works through has just under 1 Billion US dollars that she’s looking after. I thought, ‘If that’s true, why would she be interested in your piddly 10K???”

He also paid 5K to do a course in currency trading, which after he joined he realised happens on computers, which he hates and has no idea how to start using, so he’s letting a friend do the coursework. They plan to split any profits the friend ends up making.

He’s fearful of the future and is clearly envious of what has happened in my life. There were a few remarks here and there with references to investments etc. that made me feel a bit uncomfortable. He sounded almost bitter at times about how his life is looking, especially compared to mine.

It’s as if someone has flipped the coin of our lives and we’ve swapped sides.

“You’ve done really well, Frogdancer,” he said as we were eating. “You don’t have to work and … you’ve got excellent karma. You deserve it all. But… (he sighed), I’m not happy. I feel like I’m trapped and I wish… I wish I’d done things differently.”

I was telling this to Ryan28 when I got home. He’s picked up my frugal, valuist ways and he was nodding sagely. Then I asked him a question:

“If Max and I had each died at say… 45, who would you say had the better life?”

“Huh,” Ryan28 said, struck. He thought for a second, then said, “Max. He would have had the better life.”

“Exactly,” I said. “The whole thing’s a gamble. If we were able to know how long we’ve got, we could plan things out. But obviously, it doesn’t work that way. He enjoyed life when he was younger, whereas I’m enjoying it more as I’m older. It’s that whole Grasshopper and the Ant fable.

“The ant is busy putting things in place for the future, while the grasshopper just mucks around, enjoying the present. It’s all wonderful for the ant if he lives long enough to enjoy the wintertime when he can enjoy the fruits of his labour. But what if he gets stepped on and squashed just before winter hits? He’s toiled his whole life for no reward. Whereas, the grasshopper may starve to death in winter, but he’s had one hell of a happy life up until then. It all depends on how long you live.”

“I guess it’s all about balance,” said Ryan28. “Working the future but doing fun things now.”

I thought it was an important thing for Ryan28 to think about. He and I are probably too much inclined to practice delayed gratification. I want him to live his life while he’s young! (To be fair, so far it’s worked bloody brilliantly for me, but that’s not a guaranteed outcome for everyone.)

Getting back to when we were sitting at lunch, Max looked so defeated and sad. I leaned forward and said, “Yes, I’m in a really good spot right now. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned: it’s that life is a series of waves. You’re up and everything is going fine; then something happens and you’re sliding down.

“At the moment, I’m up and you’re down. But something will happen, either to me or the kids, and I’ll slide down that curve. You’re down, but something will happen and you’ll be on the upward swing again. I’m really conscious of that, so when I’m in a good spot, like now, I consciously enjoy it. because I know that it’s not going to last. I may as well enjoy it while I can!”

This appealed to Max and he brightened up and started talking about how Eckhart Tolle talks about similar ideas. I haven’t read any Tolle but Max is right into it. This put him in a better frame of mind and we chatted happily until he dropped me back at home.

I found it an interesting thought experiment. We in the FI/RE community are so good at delayed gratification. I think I’m the Queen of it, myself! And it’s mostly a very good thing. However, changing one thing that we all have no control over and looking at life through a different lens… sometimes a bit of immediate gratification along the way might also be a very good thing.

We only have “one wild and precious life.” We have to make choices based around immovable things that we have no control over. Due to my situation with raising 4 boys on my own, I was relentless about working for the future to provide the financial security for my family that we didn’t have. I had to consciously teach myself how to stop and smell the roses and enjoy the little things in life as they happen. I envy the people who seem to be born with a foot in both camps.

So who has lived the better life? As Ryan28 said, if you look at the early part of our lives, Max definitely comes out on top. I hope and believe that, when we look at our lives through the lens of another couple of decades of living, that we’ll both be happy with the paths we’ve taken.

***

Here is the poem that I found that quote from, in the paragraph above. I love it:

THE SUMMER DAY by Mary Oliver.

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean–
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down —
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
With your one wild and precious life?

Sometimes it’s ok to be extravagant.

July 28, 2023 / / 18 Comments

Sometimes on this whole ‘Financial Independence’ journey, things seem to drag along without anything changing for ages. Then something happens to drag you back into reality and makes you realise just how far you’ve come.

This happened to me yesterday.

Those of you who’ve read my ‘About’ page or have been reading my personal blog for a while would know that for many years the boys and I were, not to put it too bluntly, on the bare bones of our arses financially after I left their father. It took me almost two decades to fully financially recover from that (correct) decision. Raising four boys on your own isn’t a cheap exercise!

It has left a deep mark on how I approach most spending decisions in my life.

Things have gradually eased up over the last few years. I’ve discovered that as a spender, I’m what you’d call a ‘Valuist.’ I’ll cut expenses to the bone with things that aren’t exciting to me, but with things like travel – I’m happy to spend.

But this ‘valuist’ spending has all been scheduled and organised. Until yesterday.

Remember how I told you that my dear friend Scott organised an amazing lunch and walking tour in London to celebrate my birthday? I went to Flight Centre yesterday to arrange to push back my arrival in London from the 6th September (my actual birthday) to a few days earlier. It occurred to me that even ONE flight delay would cause me amazing stress and would probably mean that Scott would be sitting in the fabulous restaurant he booked, all on his own while sobbing uncontrollably with loneliness and disappointment, while I’d be sitting on a plane miles above him, circling the tarmac waiting to land. I would be BESIDE MYSELF, which is not a great way to celebrate a birthday.

I realised that it’d be best to fly into London a couple of days earlier to make darned sure that doesn’t happen. An added bonus would be that with some extra days under my belt, I’d be almost over the jet lag by then. Jet lag hit me hard last time – on my first night in London in 2015 Scott and I were in a cafe having an early dinner at 6 PM and I literally stopped myself from face-planting in my dinner. I woke up with my nose an inch away from disaster. I don’t want to do that during lunch.

Turns out that yes – I could change my booking. No problem.

It also turned out that it would cost $1,400 to do so.

I know. I know. I was horrified too.

I won’t lie… the possibility of backing out and hoping that ‘Fortunate Frogdancer’ would get me to London on time DID flicker across my mind. But luck is a fickle mistress. I’m convinced that the reason I’m so lucky is because I don’t rely on her – so she just pops up all the time to give me a smile and a wave. Murphy’s Law would probably ensure that I’d have 47 flight delays and I wouldn’t get to London until sometime in 2025.

So I smiled through gritted teeth and gave the guy my credit card.

“There’ll be a fee attached to using your card,” he said. “I’m so sorry.”

“At this stage, I don’t care,” I said. “I’m committed. Just lay it on me!”

The fee was $7. Ok, still ridiculous for just using a credit card. But I was still reeling from the flight cost, so it was just an incidental. No biggie.

The thing is – it wasn’t so long ago that there is NO WAY I would have; or could have, made such a luxury purchase. It’s a huge unexpected expense, especially when you add in 3 nights of extra accommodation in London before I’m set to go to Corinna’s place, which means that it’ll be around the 2K mark – not counting food and entertainment costs on top of that.

This is pretty much a sentimental decision.

For most of my adult life, this would have been a definite no-go.

But now? Sure, I wasn’t happy about spending such a large amount to gain three extra days. But could I afford it?

Well… yes.

Did I want to do it?

Yes.

So I did it.

When I wake up in London on my birthday, I’ll be leaving first thing in the morning to get to Corinna’s place before she leaves for work and I’ll collect her key and drop off my carry-on case. Then I’ll probably wander around until Scott’s train arrives and we’ll saunter off to lunch together. It’ll be chilled, relaxed, and not filled with tension and anxiety.

I know I’ll be glad when my alarm goes off on that Wednesday morning and I have the whole day stretching before me — the start of a whole new decade going around the sun for me. Airport queues and possible flight delays on the way over will all be a thing of the past. I’ll be dewy-eyed and jet lag free. It’ll be fantastic.

Sometimes you don’t fully realise that you’ve reached a new stage in your financial independence story until something like this happens.

I don’t have to work to earn the money for these luxuries that I’ve been paying for. It’s ok for me to get something that I really want. I can afford it. This is a totally new mind space for me to be in.

So once I got home, I totally lost my mind and took Ryan27 to Ikea. I bought $800 worth of storage shelves and drawers for the sewing room. Ryan27 bought a big new gaming desk, which is something that he didn’t intend to buy until he saw it. They’re all being delivered today. (I hope he’s good with an Allen key…)

Now, don’t get the wrong idea. I don’t have the sort of wealth that can sustain this level of spending every day! But I’ve reached the stage where I can buy things that I need and/or are important to me without stressing over every dollar.

It’s quite incredible to contemplate. Past Frogdancer, leaving her marriage with $60 cash and 4 boys under 5, would never have believed that in 26 years we’d be in this position.

It’s a humbling thing to experience.

Dad joke of the day:

I’ve trained my dog to go and fetch me a bottle of wine.

She’s a Bordeaux collie.

Enjoying life: the wedding!

April 18, 2023 / / 18 Comments

What a beautiful, joyous day we all had – and now I officially have that daughter I always wanted!

I love this shot – you’ve never seen a happier couple. They are so much in love.

The day started at my place with Evan26 and Jenna sleeping in the guest room – they drove straight down after Evan26’s last show, so we had a lovely evening talking and catching up on all the goss. It’s nice to have my younger two boys here without the older ones. They have a great relationship where they choose to hang out, which is an absolute goal of mine as a parent.

David29 and his Best Man Dan turned up at around 8:30 AM. David29 met Dan at high school and they went through a lot together. I truly credit Dan as being a huge reason why we were able to come out of the other side of David29’s teenage depression with him still alive and breathing. Dan has been living in the States off and on for the last few years, so he spent the night at the apartment and the two of them really caught up with lots of in-depth talks. I was so happy when I knew that Dan was going to be staying over with him. He’s like my 5th son.

By 9 AM all of the groomsmen were there and the morning was pretty cruisy. I’d written my speech the day before, as had Dan, while David29 needed to write the paragraph about Izzy, so while he was doing that, the boys made breakfast for everyone while I dragged out the ironing board and got to work.

In this shot, we’re lined up left to right: Evan26, my good self, David29, Tom31 and Ryan27. Yes, it’s like living in the land of the giants.

After the photographers left to head over to Izzy’s parents’ place, it was all very relaxed. We broke out some 21-year-old whiskey that Tom31 brought around, then some bubbly and snacks. From photos that have since been put up on FB by people on the other side of the family – it was a vast contrast at the bride’s place. It seemed that everyone was there – aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins – the joint was packed!!

Here’s me walking my boy down the aisle. I know it’s not traditional, but as a single parent who did all the hard yards on my own, I figure I’m entitled to enjoy all the perks.

The song we walked down the aisle to has a lovely backstory. I absolutely love kd lang’s voice, but my sons? Not so much. Two nights before the wedding, David29 and I were having a text convo where he said he was thinking of ‘Hallelujah ‘ for our walk.

“NOOOO!!!” I texted back. “Have you listened to the lyrics? It’s about a relationship that crashes and burns!”

“So what other kd lang song would you suggest?”

I instantly dialled his number.

“Are you seriously willing to have a kd lang song at your wedding?” I said.

“Of course!” he replied. This is our moment.”

Wow. You know you’re loved when your musician son, who has been ultra-picky about anything musical connected to this wedding, chooses your favourite artist as part of the ceremony when he doesn’t really like her much.

I chose ‘Fallen’. It’s beautiful, both the lyrics and the music. (Despite what David29 thinks. What would he know, anyway?)

The next morning, I got up and ‘Fallen’ was playing in my head. I started making my coffee and then suddenly, I was overcome with tears. I don’t mean gentle little teardrops… no. This was ugly crying, so much so that I needed lots of tissues and I was scared that I’d wake Ryan27 and he’d think something was wrong.

I rang David29 a couple of hours later and told him. He laughed.

“I wanted kd lang because I wanted you to cry!” he said.

“As if I’m going to cry in front of an audience!” I said. “And anyway, I did cry. It was just a day early.”

“Now how can I make you cry tomorrow?” he said. “What’s the name of the book you’re reading? Just before we walk down the aisle, I’ll spoil the ending for you!!”

I laughed. “They’ll all wonder why I’m slapping you!”

We had an absolute jewel of a day. In a week full of cold and rain, Friday was bright and sunny – perfect wedding weather.

Blogless Helen snapped this stunner of a photo!

David29 when Izzy and her parents were coming down the aisle. They had a friend of theirs singing ‘La Vie en Rose.’

Sealing the deal.

Making their escape.

Look at those faces now that it was all done and dusted! Now they could relax and have fun.

My sister Kate took this selfie. It’s rare that I get a good photo of myself, so she must be an extremely gifted photographer.

While the wedding party were off getting photos, we had afternoon tea at a little hall next to the church, and then our family went off to the pub, where Mum distinguished herself by accidentally spilling a glass of champagne all over my friend Ian. Of course, it had to be the man with the most expensive suit in the whole place! As we agreed later on, at least it wasn’t a shiraz!

I took a few photos at the reception before all the guests arrived, then I put my phone away for the evening. I figured that the photographer would capture the rest of the night.

I was the one to deliver the first speech of the night. Naturally, I waited to write it until the day before the wedding. After all, what could possibly go wrong?

When he was little, David29 wore a Dorothy the Dinosaur hat every minute of every day for 2.5 years. He even slept in it. He wore that hat until it literally fell apart. I used that as the motif for the speech, initially saying that when David29 decides that he loves something, he really hangs onto it.

After a few other anecdotes, I circled back to the hat, finishing up the speech by saying that I wanted to give an extra level onto all the wishes of long life, love and happiness we all have for them.

“May you both treat each other like a Dorothy the Dinosaur hat – cherish and hold each other until you grow old and fades, your teeth start to fall out and you’re coming apart at the seams!”

Izzy’s parents gave a very loving and sentimental speech. I could not be happier with the way that they’ve embraced my son and brought him into their family – though Izzy’s Dad took a few months to warm up to his precious daughter’s boyfriend!

She’s the oldest child. We always have it tougher than the younger ones.

They chose the dance from the Disney classic ‘Sleeping Beauty’ as their first dance together. Izzy grew up dreaming of the day she would dance like a princess, and she got her wish.

The funny thing was that as they were dancing, the music cut out for 10 seconds or so. They kept on moving until the music came back, like true professionals. I had my friend, Blogless Megan from work, sitting with me. She’s the head of Music and has taught all of my boys. David29 said to her later, “I could hear your voice in my head… ‘Just keep on performing!!!”… and you were sitting right there! I had to keep going!”

This was a terrific wedding. The food was good, the music was good, the weather was perfect, the happy couple was over the moon and we all danced, sang and had a damned good time. We’ve all been to weddings where everyone but the couple themselves have known that this marriage is a gamble, but these two? They are so in love and have already been tested, what with Izzy’s cancer diagnosis, and with living together under a parental roof for 3 years since the covid lockdowns began. (Honestly, Izzy’s parents are saints!) When he looks at her, David29 gets a look on his face that I never see him give when he looks at anyone else. They are truly made for each other.

I looked over the room at one stage during the night and wished that I could go back in time, just for 5 minutes, and tell that terrified mother of a teenager battling with the worst depression, that he was going to be alright and that we were dancing at his wedding. It would have made life so much easier back then if I could have known this…

I know I call myself ‘Fortunate Frogdancer’, but I’m truly the luckiest woman alive.

(Mum at the church.)

The next day David29 came over to drop off a few things and to have a long chat about the wedding. He was at mine for nearly an hour and we had a wonderful chat. Ryan27 was out at a Smash Tourney and Izzy was at her Mum’s place sorting through the wishing well gifts, so it was just the two of us. And the dogs. I’m pretty sure I’ll cherish this talk with my boy forever.

As I write this, they’re over in New Zealand on their honeymoon. I gave them a week with my timeshare points and they chose Puka Park on the tip of the North Island. It’s a secluded hideaway that looks to be perfect for a couple lost in love. It’s the first time Izzy’s been overseas.

Anyway, this wedding sets the bar high for any of my kids who might choose to get married after them.

One down… three to go!

Dad joke of the day: (This one seemed appropriate)

Less than a week to go!

November 25, 2022 / / 13 Comments

This time next week I’ll be in Santiago, Chile, all going well. These last few days before I go, I’m planning on starting to pack and buying the last few things I need to get before I go.

One is a waterproof case for my phone. I’ve decided to buy a waterproof pouch rather than a case, so after doing some research I’ve elected to buy this one. The reviews are good and I think it’ll do the job well. My quilting mat came in handy when I had to measure the phone in inches!

I also bought a sim card for my phone which will work in both Chile and Argentina. Surprisingly, most of the sims I looked at only had one or the other, which was annoying. My travel agent advised me to get one when I was there, but as I’m arriving in Santiago in the middle of the night, I didn’t think there’d be too many phone stores open. Better to be safe than sorry. The sim should be arriving today. I’ll take it with me and swap the sim cards over on the plane. It just occurred to me that I’ll need to learn how to get the sim card out in the first place.

You’ve already seen my pee bottle, which has traumatised people both here and on FB. Steveark’s comment on my previous post made me laugh! I’m hoping to bring back the bottle untouched by human urine, which will mean I’ll have a very useful souvenir to remind me of the trip. It will have been with me on the ice on every excursion. You can bet I’ll be reminded of Antarctica every time I use it.

I’m a big fan of buying useful souvenirs.

This olive oil container is from San Gimignano in Italy. Every single time I pull it out from the pantry I’m reminded of that beautiful village on top of the hill. When my friend Scott and I were going through security at Paris airport, we were looking at my case as it went through the x-ray. “Is that YOURS? What on earth have you bought?” he said as the image of what looked to be a miniature watering can glided by.

I also have a very cheap-looking spatula that I bought in a supermarket in Pyongyang. I was there, mingling with the locals as they were buying their groceries, when I saw it and thought, “I’ve been meaning to get a spatula for ages!” It’s absolutely nothing out of the ordinary, but I know where I bought it and I love using it.

Every Christmas I blog about my Christmas tree which has decorations from all over the world on it. No one has a tree quite like mine!

So having a water bottle that has travelled with me to the end of the world and back seems like a very good fit.

I still need to buy some lip balm. This morning I was looking at the blog 43 Blue Doors. Bonnie and her partner Trin retired in (I think) 2016 and have been slow travelling around the world ever since. It’s a fabulous blog with incredible photography and detailed descriptions of the places they’re travelling.

I posted about ‘My New Goal’ in October 2020, when I had 3 references to Antarctica in the one day. Up until then, I’d never even dreamed about going there. Bonnie wrote a post about her trip, which was the third nudge from the universe I received that day. This morning I looked at the page again and played the video of the chinstrap penguin colony. The sound of the wind made it obvious why lip balm is on the list as a necessity.

I hope Penguindancer! still checks in here and knows that I’m finally going. She was working in Antarctica and used to read my blog. If it wasn’t for her, I doubt I’d be going.

Today I’m going to be getting out my itinerary and hopefully booking a couple of day tours for Santiago and the surrounding countryside. I will only see the inside of the airport in Buenos Ares, but I’ll be spending a couple of days in Santiago and I think that being ferried around in a group might be the most efficient way to cover as much ground as possible.

Unless I buy a horrifically expensive souvenir, I think that all of the major expenses for my trip have already been paid for. I have tiny slivers of time on either side of the cruise where I probably won’t be spending a lot, especially if I’m on tours, and once I’m on the ship everything except alcohol and souvenirs are taken care of. I’m hoping that my pesos for Chile and Argentina will be enough for taxis and food, while the euros and my debit/credit cards will take care of everything else.

I’m known for being frugal in most areas of my life, but travelling overseas isn’t one of them. Being able to see and do everything I want when I travel is one of the reasons why I’m so frugal in other areas. I like to get bang for my buck! So who knows what I’ll end up spending?

I’m already starting to look at where I’ll travel in 2023…

… I have just one continent to go to complete the set.

Dad joke of the day:

The terrific soap recipe.

October 15, 2022 / / 14 Comments

As promised, I’m posting the soap recipe that’s my ‘go-to’ when it’s time to make another batch. It was the first soap recipe I tried and I love it. The bars of soap come out consistently firm, not crumbly and last for ages.

The blog post I took it from was from 2010 and I see that I was one of the first people to comment on it. Makes me feel a bit old… That blog has now been taken offline. This made me panic when 3 years ago I went to pull up the blogpost to make my next batch and it was unavailable.

My soap recipe has gone forever! Oh crappity crap! I tried PMing the blog author but she never got back to me. That was a little surprising but hey. What can you do? A few weeks later, I mentioned it on the frogblog as I was posting about making another soap recipe to give as Christmas gifts for work. A brilliant reader called Jamie sent me a link to the wonderful soap recipe post that they’d archived. I was so happy!!!

I’ve noticed that some readers since yesterday have tracked down the soap recipe I posted about in that frogblog post that uses Lux flakes. This is NOT the recipe I love. Don’t get me wrong… it smells like Lux and it’s easy to make, but call me a purist: it didn’t feel like I was making real soap. It was a bit of a cheat. But if you feel like making soap and the thought of using caustic soda turns you off, then by all means use this Easy-Peasy soap recipe.

But if you want the brilliant soap recipe, here’s the archived page that Jamie sent:

THE TERRIFIC SOAP RECIPE.

(I could’ve just given you the basic recipe, but I like the way Suse’s post gives a lot of information in a readable and informative way. This was my entry into the soap-making world and I like the idea of sharing the original post with you all.)

Suse’s post gives a ton of good hints and tips. I’d add that it’s not a good idea to rush mixing the melted oils and caustic soda mixes together. I’ve found that when I was impatient and mixed them together while they were still quite hot, I’d run the risk of the whole batch curdling, which is disappointing when you unwrap it the next day to find out that it hasn’t worked. Then I’d have to rebatch it by melting it into a slow cooker, which works to make the soap usable, but it’s never quite as pretty. Giving it an extra 10 minutes to enable the oils and caustic soda to cool to a ‘warm’ temperature is time well spent.

If you’re wondering if the soap has started curing properly and whether the caustic soda has saponified properly and lost its bite, the easiest way to test this is to touch the tip of your tongue to the newly unwrapped soap. If you feel a ‘zap’ like a tiny electric shock, then the soap has to be rebatched. This has only happened to me a couple of times. It’s annoying when it happens but it’s not the end of the world. Re-melting it in a slow cooker, then putting it back into a mould and wrapping it up for another 24 hours does the trick.

Another soap recipe that I really like is the one on The Witch’s Kitchen. Her blog and book (I just LOVE this book – such a useful resource, especially the plant index at the end!) are terrific. Anyone interested in food gardening should set aside some time to sit down with a cuppa and rummage through her blog. So much information.

Anyway, in this soap recipe, she mentions using grated lemon zest as a little added extra in the soap. How nice would that be? Also, as with the Terrific Soap Recipe, there’s a lot of useful info in the comments underneath the original post.

If you like the idea of making homemade soap to give away as Christmas gifts, now is the time to get started. The soap recipes that use caustic soda need at least 6 weeks to cure properly, so if you set aside the time to make a batch or two now, you’ve already got yourself organised for Christmas.

Imagine the warm glow you’ll feel from being so efficient!

Frugal Friday: Having fun with frugality.

October 14, 2022 / / 6 Comments

Can you guess what I made yesterday by looking at these ingredients?

If you guessed soap, you’re bang on the money!

A quick glance back at the frogblog shows that I’ve been making soap for over a decade now. When I first began, I tried just about every recipe that I could lay my hands on. I made green tea soap, coffee soap, olive oil/Castile soap… you name it, I gave it a go.

For a brief time, I even had teachers at school buying it from me.

But now I stick to one very basic but effective recipe that I first saw on a defunct blog many years ago. It rarely fails and even if it does, it’s easy to fix.

But why would I bother to make soap in the first place? After all, basic soap is cheap to buy. I clearly don’t NEED to make soap to save a few pennies – after all, I retired by choice 2 years ago. I’m not short of the pennies required to keep myself clean. So why would I still choose to do it?

One of the main reasons I find myself coming back to doing this whenever my soap stocks start getting low is that homemade soap is very good for the skin. Commercial soap makers take out the glycerin that’s formed when soap is made, because glycerin is lucrative to sell on its own. My soap has its own glycerin within it, so the soap moisturises as well as cleans. I like that.

I also really like to have pretty soap put aside for little gifts. A bar of homemade soap and a hand-knitted washcloth is something that I like to give when I go to a blog meet or when a friend has a birthday. These handmade gifts, wrapped in brown paper and string, look great.

The third reason is that it’s personally very satisfying to produce something useful from nothing but a random bunch of ingredients. The same can be said of knitting and quilting, I guess. Being able to point at something that now exists in the world that wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t here is a nice feeling. (Pointing at the boys just doesn’t have the same effect…!)

Another reason why I like to do it is that I can personalise each batch. This batch of soap smells like eucalyptus. I’ve sprinkled dried cornflower and calendula petals over 3/4 of the top, but I’ve left a strip on the side free of petals because Ryan27 is a hairy guy and he doesn’t like to pick petals from his chest hair after having a shower. Fair enough. Sometimes I add rolled oats or poppy seeds (lovely and scratchy), food colourings, and different scents. Every batch is different.

The last reason is a hangover from the days when the boys and I were very, very broke and I had to stretch every dollar. Anything that I could do to stop a visit to the supermarket was a way to save money. Growing some of my own food and making things like soap is a way to limit setting foot in the supermarket and spending more money. I like the discipline of this, even though I no longer need to do it for financial survival.

It’s funny how the things that I once did to save even a few cents towards big things like the mortgage or the boys’ education are now the things that I choose to do for fun.

Smething that I was really looking forward to when Tom30 left home and Ryan27 was housesitting was how I was going to use up the food I had in the freezer and the zombie apocalypse cupboard during the 9 weeks when I’d be living on my own before I went away to Antarctica. During the lockdowns I’d bumped up the stores a bit and it seemed like now was the perfect opportunity to eat them down a bit.

I decided that I was going to keep supermarket visits to an absolute minimum and I’d spin out the meat I had by making vegetarian meals, using up the piles of lentils and beans I had hanging around. I was going to use up the frozen veggies I had – about 5 packets – and utilise what I had growing in the garden rather than buying fresh greens.

I have lots of longlife milk and milk powder, so that wouldn’t be a problem, though eggs, carrots and potatoes would be on the shopping list. I have heaps of stewed fruit that I’ve frozen as ice cubes. I have enough rice and bakers flour to sink a small ship, so all in all, I was in a great position to live out of my pantry for quite a long time.

The more I thought about it, the more excited I got. How long could I make everything last? This was going to be interesting! I didn’t set any specific targets… I just wanted to wing it and see how far I got.

Then two days later Ryan27 moved back home.

*sigh*

Now don’t get me wrong – I’m very happy that he’s happy to share a roof with me, but my frugal experiment went straight out the window. He wants to make a Mongolian sauce for me to try that he discovered when he was away, so I found myself at Aldi yesterday buying some broccoli that he wanted.

THIS WOULD NEVER HAVE HAPPENED IF I WAS ON MY OWN!!! I’D DO WITHOUT THE BROCCOLI!!! I know I could have refused to buy it, but I don’t think it’s fair to inflict my own little frugal games on unsuspecting housemates.

Another frugal entertainment is my reading challenge. This is in its third year and I LOVE it! In a nutshell, I have to pay over 2K in local council fees each year. I decided to try and “make’ those rates back by reading over 2K’s worth of library books, which are paid for by my local council.

Since I started it, the only books I’ve bought have been a couple of recipe books. I had no idea that my local library was so very well-stocked. I rarely go into my local branch and browse. Most of the time, I hear about a novel I’d like to read, jump on the library’s website and do a search. It’s a rare day when the library doesn’t have a copy of the book I want.

I’ve read literally thousands of dollars worth of books since I began this challenge. Obviously, I wouldn’t have bought all of those books myself, but I certainly would have bought quite a few. I’m addicted to reading and I always have 2 or 3 books on the go at any one time.

This challenge is fun. I have read so many books that I never would have bought for myself, I have the goal of meeting a dollar amount in a 12 month period so I can’t slacken off, and also have the satisfaction of gradually, book by book, ticking down to meet my goal.

I keep track of it on the side of this blog. It’s practically the only Maths that I enjoy.

Scrap quilts? I can spend hours upon happy hours creating quilts from fabric that’s been hanging around here for ever. Cheap as chips but when the quilts are finished, they look a million dollars. I love entertaining myself so happily and so cheaply.

I guess it’s that, as I get older, I’m getting more and more intolerant of waste. Waste of resources, waste of time, waste of money. The feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction when I can reduce any sort of waste is a precious one.

I don’t see why, just because I’ve reached financial independence, I should deny myself that feeling. Feeling accomplished and satisfied makes me happy. Frugality ticks so many boxes for me and – lets be frank – I didn’t retire just to turn around and give up one of the very things that make me happy.

Twenty-four hours later I unwrapped the soap and cut it into bars. Ryan27’s ‘pure’ unpetaled soap is already on the cake rack. It takes 6 weeks to dry before it’s ready to use, so once it was all cut, I carried it to the laundry where it’s safely tucked away, slowly curing.

I’ll probably have enough soap here for personal use and for gifts to last at least 6 months. It’s a small thing, but it fills my heart.

Dad joke of the day:

I had to read this one twice before I got it!

Little Adventures #15: Creswick and Ballarat. July 2022.

August 2, 2022 / / 8 Comments

Finally – the girls’ weekend arrived! Working towards Financial Independence involves a lot more things than money. One of these things is having the means and the freedom to set up experiences for the people we love. The timeshare that I bought many years ago and then barely used is now really coming into its own.

This timeshare runs on points, so I’m not tied to just one place at the same time every year. Since I retired I’ve been on 6 holidays and have used it to give a week away in New Zealand for David28 and Izzy’s honeymoon next year. I’m determined to never waste a point again. Now it was time for the girls’ weekend at the Sebel in Creswick.

I went up to the townhouse in Creswick a couple of days early, as I had to book 4 nights to secure the weekend that we wanted. On Friday, I was sewing on the 5,000+ piece quilt, (hereafter named ‘The Sea Glass quilt’) when I glanced at the tv. A HUGE kangaroo was reflected in it.

Sure enough, on the other side of the driveway was a big old man roo. I didn’t go near him… those guys can tear a hole in your abdomen if you annoy them… but I took some photos.

You know you’re in the country when there’s a roo outside your house!

The girls arrived on Friday evening and we all settled in. Izzy – David28’s fiancee; Jenna – Evan25’s girlfriend; and Ashley and Kate – my nieces. They’re all really great girls, and are all pretty much the same age, ranging from 25 – 22, so they all have lots of things in common.

After a night spent talking and sipping a few bevvies, we awoke the next morning hungry for adventure. Jenna met Evan25 when they were both doing their acting/music theatre degree in Ballarat, so she was our official tour guide.

The first stop was a patch of bush in Blackwood. Apparently it’s Evan25’s favourite place in all the world, which is a bold claim. Then again, he hasn’t seen a whole heap of the world yet, to be fair.

It’s a pine forest with lots of walking tracks/BMX paths through it.

Ash and Jenna decided to race to the top of one of the bike jumps.

We were walking along and someone saw that a cubby house had been built in one of the trees. It had fake grass, a chair and a pole to slide down.

Noice!

I took this photo of Izzy to send to David28, to show him that his beloved was an intrepid woman of adventure.

(In reality, we bonded over how unfit we were. The others were racing around like mountain goats while we were sucking in air and trying not to sound as if we were dying.)

A cave. Jenna warned us that we didn’t want to go in there. I didn’t ask for further information.

The next stop was Ballarat, to a trash and treasure place called ‘The Old Mill’. Next door was an ugg boot shop. Ash mentioned that she was looking for new uggies so we went in.

She found the perfect pair on the bargain table outside.

Kate found a pair of slip-on slippers inside.

Honestly, I’ve never seen anyone so delighted by a purchase. She was giggling and skipping around like a 3 year old! Definitely an awesome souvenir!

Then we ducked into The Old Mill.

As I was wandering around I saw this massive hexagon quilt. It was double sided, with no filling in between.

And hand-sewn. It must have taken some poor woman YEARS to complete.

Jenna found a most fetching hat to try on.

Everyone but Izzy and I bought something. Izzy has a wedding to pay for and I’ve just given all my money to Tom30, (plus there’s Antarctica coming up!) so we were very restrained.

Good on us.

After all of that, we needed some lunch, so we went to a dumpling bar near where Jenna and Evan25 went to uni.

The lunch special. Not bad for $15.

After that, we went back to the town of Creswick to see what was happening there. It used to be a typical country town, but in the years since I brought the boys here for a getaway it’s become a bit bougie and trendy.

We went to a beautiful clothes shop and what was supposed to be a hardware-type place but had the most bewildering range of utilitarian and gift-shop items that you could imagine. It was obviously trying to please both the locals and the tourists.

The sisters and Jenna bought some beautifully scented bath salts. Did I mention that the apartment we were staying at had a couple of massive baths in each room? So big that you could almost swim laps.

Ashley and Kate decided that they were going to have a bath. This is the shot I sent to my sister.

This weekend was NOTHING like the weekends I’ve spent away with my boys. Conversations about eyebrow threading, hairstyles, fashion, home decor… it was a whole new world.

Ashley decided that part of her contribution to the weekend was to make mulled wine in the thermomix. After dinner on Saturday, as we were settling down to a night of card games, drinking and laughter, she revved up the thermie… I made her use the old ‘antique’ version… and she served us a glass each.

It was so good!

Two girls brought soju.

People who’ve read my account of when I went to North Korea will know that we downed many a bottle of soju while on that tour! I used to say that my lifetime of drinking had prepared me well.

Soju in Australia has many different flavours, which tones the original flavour down. Drinking soju isn’t for the faint-hearted. It’s VERY strong. We decided to have a taste test, with Jenna pouring a smidgeon into our glasses and we rated them. Watermelon, pomegranate and peach were the best, though the peach made me think of peach schnapps.

However, I was the only one who could drink the original flavour, which honestly tastes like rocket fuel. The girls couldn’t stand it, but it made me nostalgic. This was the only soju we had back in North Korea. I ended up taking the bottle home with me. No way I was going to let that little taste of the happy times in the DPRK go to waste!

And to finish – here’s one of the games we played. So much laughter and fun!

I decided to try and get the girls together when it dawned on me that despite being part of the family for 4 years, Jenna and Izzy had NEVER had a conversation without some or all of the boys being around.

That’s just ridiculous.

I invited the nieces for a couple of reasons.

First – the apartment sleeps 5, so it made sense. Frogdancer Jones always likes to get more bang for her buck.

Secondly – and most importantly – women are the glue that holds families together. If you’ve been reading this for any length of time, you’ll know that I always have a view for the long game. These four young women are going to be moving the family through into the future. It makes sense for them to get to know each other on a deeper level than merely “meeting for Christmas.”

This weekend turned out even better than I hoped. I mean, I knew we’d have a good time. None of the girls are bitches (thank God!) and they already get along.

It was a weekend of conversations, laughter and bonding. We had so much fun. All 5 of us went home knowing everyone so much better, which made me very happy. Jenna and Kate live near each other and they were making plans to meet for dinner with their partners and to see each other’s houses. How lovely is that?

Now they’re all REALLY looking forward to David28 and Izzy’s wedding, because there’s a deeper connection than just being David28’s cousins.

Kate and Ash got to spend ‘sister time’ together, which is really special once long-term partners enter into the picture. My sister was so happy that they got to do this.

We know that Izzy is a smiling assassin in games of strategy and Kate and I are excellent partners in wordplay games.

We know that Jenna is never happier than when she’s got a task to organise and Ash is that rare breed of sports fan who can actually watch a game of footy with the sound turned down. Thank goodness. I hate the sound of sports commentary.

We also know how much they all love their partners. There was no whingeing about them at all, which is a fair feat seeing as they’ve all been with their partners from 2 – 5 years. They seem to have chosen well… even the ones who chose MY sons!

I knew that we’d all get along, but this was next level. I was so happy to spend time with them all and have time without partners and other family members diluting the mix. I think my family is so very lucky to have them all in it.

They were asking if we could do this again next year. I think that an annual girls’ weekend could be a truly excellent tradition to have…

Dad joke of the day:

What’s the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac?

A literalist takes things literally.

A kleptomaniac takes things, literally.

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