Burning Desire For FIRE

Every morning while I have been travelling, the first thing I do is grab my phone and check Messenger, to see if Dad has died. If there was nothing, I’d take it as no news is good news and go about my day.

This morning, Blogless Sandy and I were on the bus, ready for our day in Shanghai. As the bus pulled away, I decided to give Messenger another little check. My sister had sent a simple message: He’s gone, Frogdancer.

I was two days short.

I was ok though. I really thought that he’d die when I was in Africa, so while I was there I said my goodbyes, so the extra 3 weeks we had between Africa and China were a bonus. And honestly, I didn’t want hm to keep going any longer. There was no point. He had wasted away to 43 kgs and he wasn’t enjoying himself anymore. It was a release when he breathed his last.

Anyway, I was on that bus and, after I sent voicemails to my family, there was nothing further I could do. All of my kids went to Bonbeach to be with Mum – my sister said that it was lovely. “The room was very full!”

At first I trailed behind Blogless Sandy like a lost puppy, but then I got back into the swing of things.

Shanghai was established in 1219 as a small fishing village. It now has 28 million inhabitants- more than the whole of Australia’s population. Our hotel was an hour out from the centre of town, (which will become important later on), and it was wall-to-wall apartment blocks. Summer said that they each house around 2,000 inhabitants – and they kept marching on and on. We are very lucky here in Australia.

Shanghai only became important after the Opium War between Britain and China. The Chinese lost, and were forced to open up the country to foreign trade. Shanghai was the city that was nominated to house the traders and it opened to the British in 1843.

The British paid for the tea with opium, not accepting any other form of payment. This opium tore through China and contributed to its decline in the 19th century. Yet another dirty deed.

Japan invaded China in 1931 in the north. They stayed until 1945.

Dec 1937, the Japanese killed 30,000 people in Nanking. They invaded Shanghai, expecting to push through to the capital of China, which was Nanking back then. But Shanghai fought hard and delayed the Japanese by 3 months, so the Chinese government was able to leave Nanking before the Japanese got there. The Japanese destroyed half of Shanghai as they left, then when they got to Nanking and found it only had women and children and no government official – the massacre.

This tower is built after the Chinese dragon where the architect thought that it would twist and go up like a dragon leaving the Earth and going up to the heavens. Just wait until you see it after dark!

We were taken to this tower and some people paid $28AUS to go to the top to the viewing platform. This was the only optional extra that we declined. We knew it was going to be buildings stretching out in all directons, and we don’t know the layout of Shanghai. It wasn’t like when I was in London for my birthday and Scott took me to the Sky Garden. I could see all the places I’d been to in London back in 2015 and it was wonderful.

Look! Flying saucers!

Summer, our guide, said that when she was a child she was brought here by her teachers on a school excursion and it was all farmland. This was in 1996; now it’s just covered with skyscrapers as far as I can see.

“Even for me, the buildings sprang up like mushrooms. This used to be the poor side of Shanghai. When I was younger, my grandmother told me, ‘ When you date, don’t date a man from the west side.’ Now it’s the richest side of Shanghai!”

In 30 years, Shanghai went from having only one way to cross the river (by ferry), to 12 bridges,  5 train lines and 17 tunnels.

They have 8,000 buildings over 10 metres tall. The expansion is incredible.It also seems that architecta are in a competition to create skyscrapers with the most unusual shapes they can devise. This city is very futuristic-looking.

After we walked around this part of town for a while, we drove to The Bund. I was excited to see this – it was one of the reasons I chose this tour. Can’t go to China without seeing The Bund!

1860 to 1930’s buildings are on one side of the river, while the other side is modern Shanghai. It looks like something from ‘The Jetsons;, doesn’t it? When the Japanese invaded, all of this was razed to the ground.

The Chinese protected the old buildings on the other side of the river, which is why The Bund is so unique today. The old and the new are gazing at each other across the river.

The monument of the Shanghai heroes. It was very North Korea!

Walking along the Bund, the feeling of spaciousness is incredible. It was a Saturday morning and there were a lot of people here and a lot of buildings but it just felt like you can breathe here. It’s amazing. I absolutely loved it.

These two came up to me, waved and wanted me to take their picture. Do you notice the macine gun the little boy has?

People were out and about with their families.

The bollards are far more decorative here. If you look at the side, you’ll see that it’s the city skyline. The cities here all seem to make an effort to make their streets pretty. We’ve noticed many, many underplantings of flowers along the sides of city streets and freeways. Sometimes they have their own watering systems attached.

After this, we went t a very boring museum BUT…

… here is a model of the Cutty Sark, the tea clipper ship that Deana and I visited when we went to Greenwich in England. I’ve been inside that very ship! I absolutely love it when my travels dovetail into one another.

Another flying saucer!

This was near the Matchmaker Market, where parents gather on a Saturday with posters advertising their son/daughter’s attributes, hoping that they’ll find a match for their child. Sometimes their child is unaware that their parents are doing this.

Parking in Shanghai is hidden underneath the parks and large buildings. Four or five levels, all hidden.

Lunch in the French Concession area. It was very pretty.

By some miracle, I was able to snatch a shot of the fountain. This place is very popular. There were heaps of restaurants and bakeries and the place was full of people.

We raised a glass to Dad.

Afterwards we wandered around. Bloglass Sandy bought an icecream. I was saving my money for taxi fares.

Spotted outside the bus. A Lamborghini. It was as if Dad, the car man, was waving to me.

A market! This was the first of two we went to. “Don’t buy clothes, shoes or bags at this first market,” said Summer. “This one is good for snacks and looking at the archetecture.”

Did I tell you about this dragon? He is the youngest of the 9 dragons born to some important dragon or other, and he only eats gold, silver and precious stones. He doesn’t have an anus, so all the wealth he eats stays with him. Shops position him at the front of their stores, so he eats all the money coming in the door, and then it stays there. Hmmm. Maybe I should get one for my house.

Another dovetail effect of my travel. I’ve just come back from Africa – and here are life-sized African animals made from chocolate!

The Shanghai people have nicknamed this building as ‘The Bottle Opener.’

“We love our beer!” said Summer.

I saw this in a knock-off Lego shop at the next market we went to. Then, as the sun went down, we went on a river cruise to see the world-famous lights on the Bund.

This is the building we started our day with – the one representing a dragon flying into the sky.

While we were waiting to get onto the boat, it was bedlam, but the cruise itself was chill.

Blogless Sandy LOVED it.

Then, once it was over, Summer called a taxi for me and we ran to catch it, through all of the crowds that were trying to get back onto their buses. I rode 20 minutes into the heart of Shanghai, to a hotel right behind Nanking Road.

My dear friend Scott is now a tour group leader for Riveria travel in the UK, and we just happened to be in Shanghai on the same night!

What are the odds that, on the day my father dies and I’m halfway across the world, I have two of my dearest friends in the world there with me????

Fortunate Frogdancer.

My taxi ride back to our hotel was LONG. I started to wonder if I was going to be found dead in a ditch somewhere as it grew to nearly an hour. But no, he grumpily pulled up in front of the hotel, then magicaly cheered up when he saw that I’d given him a very large tip. The poor man had to drive all the way back to Shanghai, so deserved a sweetener.

Tomorrow we fly home.

Dad Joke of the Day:

Remember how we visited the silk factory yesterday?

Adrian, a laconic man on our tour, walked onto the bus this morning and asked, “Anyone want to feel my silk underwear?”

A roar of laughter greeted this. As it died away, Sharon from Bayswater quipped, “Oh look, they’re queuing up!!”

Apartments are an empty shell. No doors, no carpet, no kitchen, no bathroom… you have to buy all of that. In this city, it costs $900,000 Aussie dollars for 100 square metres. 

There’s a saying that when you buy an apartment, you empty 6 pockets. Not just the married couple, but both sets of parents as well.

100square metres ALSO includes lobby space, elevator space etc. so the apartment is closer to 75 square metres in actual living space.

My god. What a con.

The Chinese used to prefer sons to daughters, as daughters leave to join another family. But now? They prefer girls. 

The boys’ families are expected to provide the lions share of the cost of an apartment. 

When a baby girl is born, people say to the grandparents, “Congratulations, you can retire earlier!”

When a baby boy is born, they say, “Congratulations, you must work harder!”

West Lake is a natural lake. We took a boat ride. It’s surrounded by a National Park on 3 sides.

No high rise development is allowed lakeside. Apparently, this place is packed on the weekends.

This is a very green city. Trees line the streets, with floral underplantings. If you had to live in a high rise, like 95% of the population does, at least you can see green in this city.

The lake is located smack bang in the city centre. It appears to me that this might very well be the pick of the cities here, as there’s so much greenery , not just by the lake but all through the city.

Hangzhou used to be the capital city. 1,50 years ago they built a 1,400 kms long Grand Canal from here to Hangzhou, purely for the use of the emperor. It took 10 years to make. Concubines, silk, vegetables, rice… he travelled here once, then he was overthrown. His dynasty only lasted 2 generations.

Our next stop was a tea plantation. I didn’t think that I’d buy anything, after buying tea in both Vietnam and Japan, but I ended up buying enough green tea leaves to last me for 5 years. At least, that’s how long they’ll last if I store them in the freezer.

After the tea, it was a long drive through peak hour Friday night traffic to reach Shanghai.

We went straight to a theatre to see the Chinese equivalent of Cirque de Soleil. It was fantastic. I only took one video, of SEVEN motorbikes racing around inside a globe.

This trip has been a little stressful, as my father is dying. I was at the tea plantation when my sister Kate sent me a voicemail, saying that they’ve started Dad on the morphine. He told the doctor that he didn’t want to feel any pain before he dies, so this means the end is near.

Later, Kate messaged to say that one of the nurses looked at Dad and said quietly to Mum, “Tomorrow…”

It’s Saturday morning, as I type this. I fly home tomorrow.

Dad Joke of the Day:

Marco Polo wrote, “There is a heaven in the sky and a heaven on Earth and that is Suzhou.” 800 years ago, this was a city of canals, which reminded him of his home city of Venice.

6 million people live here- as opposed to 28 million in Shanghai. “In China, any city less than 10 million is a small city.”

Suzhou was established 1,000 years ago. It’s on the Yangtze River. 

This garden is 500 years old. Lingering Garden is on the world heritage list.

This used to be a rich family’s property. It took the Liu family 16 years to complete the garden. 3 or 4 generations lived there together.

Lotus fish pond. They are spraying mist across the pond for the lotus plants- and for the visual.

This place is not on a huge parcel of land, but it’s cleverly designed to make the most of the space and to attract every breath of air in this humid place.

The family made their money from silk and salt. You needed permission from the emperor to sell salt, so this family was very wealthy. Everyone needs salt.

The rocks here are the same as in the Forbidden City. They come from the lake here.

There’s a 500 year old ginkgo tree over the lotus. 5 ginkgo seeds a day are good for the brain, so Summer says.

They bring the rocks from the lake during winter, when the lake and canals are frozen so they can slide the rocks. They were a huge status symbol because it was so expensive.

The people live upstairs to try and keep away from the constant humidity. They also wear silk in preference to anything else.

Sitting room.

This is the biggest place for the family to entertain. Mahogany furniture, uncomfortable so needed cushions. The room opens up to a huge rock garden, which is a huge boast about their wealth.

Family treasure, passed down for generations. This was really impressive. A big single marble piece with natural colours. River, mountain and a full moon in the sky. The characters are man made, but everything else is natural.

Another family treasure was this silk painting, you can see through it. Good for bigger rooms. It also hides the young girls from outsiders. It allowed the women to check out prospective suitors, being able to see and hear them secretly.

This was important, as marriages were arranged then. Summer said that the first time her grandparents met was on their wedding day. “Fortunately, they fell in love after that,” she said.

Remember our guide in Beijing? Tina also had an arranged marriage, but she definitely didn’t get a happy life. Parents don’t always know the best for their children.

Windows were made of rice paper  for the poor people, but rich people used very thin white silk.

The bonsai sections were incredible. There were probably 100+ , which in a way was a shame. Every single one of them was worthy of so much attention, but it was the reverse of “You can’t see the forest for the trees.” 

Dad used to bonsai trees and there are still a couple surviving. These ones were well over 100 years old. Just look at the trunks!

I don’t think I’ve ever seen bonsais like this before- made to grow on rocks.

They look like South Pacific islands.

This place was amazing. As I walked through, I could imagine the wealthy family living in this place built to catch the breezes and the shade. It would have been a pleasant place to live.

Our next stop was a silk factory. The reason these China tours are so cheap is because the Chinese government subsidises them, requiring that the tourists get paraded around to various factories. They know that we’re mostly going to buy stuff.

5,000 years ago, this woman called Leizu brought the knowledge of silk making to China. This proved to be an absolute bonanza for China, as silk has been one of China’s major exports ever since.

They have a temple for Leizu here, as this is the silk capital of China.

2,000 years later, China was exporting silk to Europe via the Silk Road, and by sea via Shanghai, Malacca and Venice.

Nowadays, the silk industry is controlled by the government. 

They certainly made a killing here today. Most couples bought something, and it was mostly bedding. Silk Donna’s, covers, sheets and pillowcases were flying out the door. I restrained myself and merely bought a scarf each for Mum and myself.

We went for a boat ride on a canal, where the fresh water came from the lake. When Marco Polo came here, the whole city was built around canals. Now there are only 18 canals left. They were dug 1,000 years ago.

The boats we were in were floating past the old houses. These are an oddity here as they’re privately owned. The government has what we would call a heritage listing over them, and they help people renovate them, as long as they’re within the guidelines.

You can see why Marco Polo called it the Venice of the East.

We were given an hour to wander around, grab some lunch and see the sights. We sampled pan-Fried dumplings, which Blogless Sandy liked more than I did.

After lunch we wandered around for a while.

It was very pretty.

When we joined Summer again, she took us for a walk up to the old city wall.

The views weren’t at all bad.
Our next stop is the city of Hangzhou. Then Shanghai, then home.

How quickly this tour has gone!

Dad Joke of the Day:

So I may have bought another set of earrings… these ones match my genuine emerald ring that I bought in Thailand in 2997. But these are fake.

To be honest, today wasn’t the most exciting day I’ve had travelling, but if you’re following along, you’ll know I’ve had a very good run.

Can’t complain!

1,500 degrees and lots of pressure to grow a diamond. They start with graphite, then squeeze it under incredible heat to produce this pretty diamond dust.

We were told not to touch it, but of course a couple of people put their fingers in. Have I mentioned that this is the stupidest group I’ve ever travelled with? Don’t get me wrong… there are a lot of great people in the group. But there are a fair few people who don’t know their arses from their elbows.
Anyway, back to my notes.

It’s finished in 40 minutes, then a further 7 days needed till the end.

Less than 10 carats are for jewellery, more than this is military and industrial.

The first machine selects for shape. It works on vibration.

Magnetic separator separates the good quality on the left from the bad quality or industrial quality on the right.

The workshop runs 24 hours a day 3X8 hour shifts. We were taken to the shop, but I’ve already told you what happened there.

Then it was off to a museum.

3,600 years ago, this guy founded the second dynasty in China.
Also, see the guy standing with his wife in the foreground? It turns out we went to the same primary school, though he was about 10 years ahead of me. Small world,

Shang Dynasty, which was part of the New Stone Age.

Before this, it was a matriarchal society. Then, they decided to move away from being sensible.

Bronze drinking vessel.

Porcelain bowl. You can see how they’ve put it together after it was smashed. The passage of time is hard on crockery.

Primarily fish was used in their diet because as Dominic said, if they came across animals, the animals would eat them, so fish were safe to catch and easy to eat.

A pig in a sacrificial pit. One year later, you sacrifice a pig for him. Then every 3 years.

They had a few dioramas which weren’t bad, but I have to say that I could have done with less museum.

Then it was off to the train station for the third and last time to catch a bullet train.

Blogless Sandy and I agree that travelling on a fast train is really the way to go. Lots of leg room, swift, quiet and very civilised.

We have 3 more cities before we come home. This tour covers a lot of ground in a very short time.

So yes, not the most riveting day, but tomorrow sounds like it should be good. According to Summer, our new guide, we’ll be walking in the footsteps of Marco Polo.

Dad Joke of the Day:

Shaolin Temple is famous for king fu and medicine.

Kids start at 6, with 90% being Chinese. Also, around 90% are boys.

7K AUD a year is the fee to go to the school here. It’s not cheap. They are there from 7:20 am to 6pm. Domenic has a 12 year old son there, so he knows a lot about it.

Tang dynasty started this. 618 – 907.

When the civil war started, the Tung leader fled to the Shaolin Temple, which only had 100 monks. They went out and defeated the 10,000 strong army.

Two years later, the Tung guy took the throne and raised the temple high. They went from 100 to 1,000 monks. 

Lots of monks went there to be fed, and to learn self defence.

If you wanted to learn kung fu, you had to spend a year hauling water up the mountain to the temple.

At times, their numbers swelled to 3,000, but this made the government nervous, as the monks were such good fighters. The numbers were eventually capped at 500.

1,400 years ago, the city had 1 million people.  80,000 people were from other places, such as Korea , Iran and Russia.

Kung fu has 10 different parts, with the fighting being only one part. Tai Chi is another part.

Before 2020, the birth rate was 20 million a year. 

Now, it’s around 10 million a year.

It’s very expensive to get married here in China.

In 1970, to get married, people needed a Sewing machine to make clothes, a Phoenix brand bicycle, and a watch.

1980, they needed a fridge, TV (programs were only from 7 -9),and washing machine.

1990, they needed air conditioner, a colour tv, video recorder.

2000, it was a computer, a car and an apartment. “If you have a house, the lady will marry you.”

Because of this, housing prices have shot up.

2010- credit card and BMW = Be My Wife or Bring My Wallet!

Cheaper BMWs are made here in Beijing. MGs are now made in China too. A guy on our tour loves his.

6 cities are built around making iPhones. There are 300,000 people in this city who work for Apple. Our guide was laughing about Trump’s tariffs, saying that the Americans can’t pay so much extra.

To my chagrin, Domenic said that it costs $200 to make my phone. I paid $1,500!

“You very rich lady to pay that!” He said.

“I was, until I bought this!” I replied.

8 months salary pays for the average iPhone Max. Crazy. “But some Chinese ladies like to do this.”

“How much is petrol here?” someone asked.

“Bloody expensive!” he replied. The ‘bloody’ was in an Australian accent. It turns out that it’s the same as Australia, but as Lucas said, we earn 4 times as much as the average Chinese, so petrol is hugely expensive for them.

10,000 students are here. People send their less academically gifted sons. When they graduate, they tend to work in security as bodyguards.

Zen Buddhism is from here.

The lion means power.

The Gate is 300 years old. By the way, I’m copying from my notes. There may be speeling nistakes.

Temple 1,500 years old. 

Ginkgo tree is the same age as the temple.

See the holes in the trunk? They are from the kung fu students practicing jabbing their fingers to be strong enough to break through tiles, etc.

Tortoise is 1,400 years old. The writing is Chinese cursive and the vast majority of Chinese people can’t read it any more. These tortoise statues were dotted all over the place. Their symbolic meaning is longevity.

The statue to the right of the Buddha is of the guy who brought Buddhism back to this area.

This is very much a working monastery. This building with the reclining Buddha is a study hall.

They cook in these big pots, while students are suspended above, learning how to kick and somersault in mid air. I imagine the motivation would be high.

Once Domenic had shown us the first 3 levels of buildings, we were given 7 minutes to explore. The pace on this trip is frenetic. Blogless Sandy elected to whip up and see the last building. There were a lot of steps. I chose to amble back down and see what I could see.

On top of a roof.

After this, we walked to see the monks’ graveyard. It was a hot day, but even so, I was regretting wearing my sandals. My feet weren’t getting as much support as they clearly needed.

The graveyard here has more than 200 markers for monks from level one to level seven. The higher the tomb,  the higher the level the monk achieved.

Once we’d taken our photos, we kept walking. This part of the tour wasn’t on the itinerary. Someone had asked Domenic if we could go on the chairlift to the top of the mountain. For an extra $25 AUD each, we could. Blogless Sandy and I have agreed that we’ll sign up for everything, so we handed over a 100 yuan note each to Domenic.

No one realised just how much walking was involved to get to the place where the chairlift was. It was “only” 900 metres, but it was uphill. I tell you, this is yet another example of why I’m travelling so much while I’m reasonably nimble. Some of the older and fatter people in the group were having trouble, but we all made it in the end.

The views from the cable car were amazing.

Very grand and spectacular.

We got out and wandered around the top. I was assuming that the views of the mountains and valleys were the drawcard. 

But then I got the best surprise I’ve had for a long while…

Zoom in to the cliff. 

See the village and temple there? How exquisite!

Imagine living way up there? What would it be like?

There was a path leading all the way up to the village. We only had half an hour before we had to leave, but we decided to walk as far as we could before we had to turn back.

It was still high 30’s, so the shade and the breeze were very welcome. Half way along, there was a clump of eateries, a massage place and a stall where a guy was selling etchings of the temple carved onto grains of rice. Free enterprise is alive and well here.

Here’s one that Sandy took, which shows just how the path was clinging to the cliff. For someone who’s leery of heights, she did remarkably well.

There came a point where we were right near the end of the cliff, but time was ticking. We took some photos, then headed back.

I’ll never forget the sight of the buildings perched on the edge of the cliff, with the sheer rock plunging down to the valley below. How beautiful and isolated it was. 

I’m so glad I didn’t know about it beforehand. It was the most wonderful surprise.

Dad Joke of the Day:

The terracotta warriors were found in 1974 by a local farmer while he was digging a well.

When he first found the statues, he thought they were ghosts, because they had natural colouring when they were first uncovered, then the colours disappeared within 3 minutes due to oxidisation.

In the last couple of years, scientists have figured out how to stop this from happening.

Here is a view of what the statues actually looked like before the oxidisation happened.

As people kept digging, they found 8,000 life-sized warriors- all with different faces. They are still digging, finding more warriors, bronze chariots, animals etc. “The emperor needed BMW for the afterlife.”

Xi’an was the ancient capital of China, so that’s why the warriors are here.

Emperor Qin  ascended the throne at 13, and died at 50. 221BC, so they are more than 2,000 years old.

The first dynasty knew how to make metal, so they took over the whole of China. They believed in an afterlife, like the Egyptians, except they didn’t do human sacrifice like in Egypt. They had an army of clay, but they were based on real people, so “There are no twins” said Maggie, our guide for today.

The farmer was paid $5 for his trouble. But he was given the duty free shop, so he makes money this way. He’s 77 years old now. Here he is, signing books for 200 yuan ($50) each and lapping up his celebrity.

There are more than 40,000 visitors here each day. On Chinese public holidays, that number doubles. The bullet trains are the main reason why visitor numbers have exploded. It’s far easier for people to travel here.

When US President Clinton came to see the warriors, the farmer was primed to say two remarks to him. The first was “How are you?” and the second was “Me too.” The farmer spoke no English so he had no clue as to what he was saying. He had to memorise the sounds.

The farmer, when he was brought out in front of all the media to meet the president, forgot exactly what to say, so he asked Clinton, “Who are you?”

“I’m the president of the USA,” said Clinton.

The farmer replied, “Me too!”

Pit 1 has 6,000 statues. Most of these are infantry. The buildings that house them are massive, and are air conditioned, which was wonderful because the temperature was a balmy 39C. People were swarming all over the place.

The emperor’s tomb is 1.5 kms behind them. They are facing outward to protect him. 

There are no weapons in Pit 1, because slaves came back after the emperor died to damage his army and leave him vulnerable in the afterlife. They weren’t all that fond of him.They smashed statues and stole the weapons. These statues are being repaired.

After opening hours is when the restoration and archeology takes place. There’s no way anyone could concentrate on their work with thousands of people jostling each other, trying to get a better view of them.

Each statue weighs between 200 and 300 kg .

This one is wrapped in plastic wrap to protect the colours from the air.

The next place we went to was Pit 3. This pit was found with only 68 soldiers. This was an animal sacrifice centre. They were using the animal bones to foretell the future.

Angry slaves got here too, as you can see.

Pit 2 has 1,000 soldiers and 500 horses. The angry slaves missed this bit, so they’ve kept them underground to preserve their colours and keep them safe. They’ve used sonar etc to work out how many warriors are down here.

The exciting thing is that there are genuine warriors in glass displays along the side wall in this pit. This one is an archer. I this is my favourite one. I bought a little one for $25 to bring home with me.

A high ranking officer. He seems a little full of himself.

A cavalryman and his horse.

I thought this guy would be a king fu guy, but he’s a standing archer. His bow, being made of wood, has rotted away.

I saw these monks going in as we were coming out.

I’m so glad I came to see the warriors. It’s a strange feeling to know that you’re looking at things that were made over 2,000 years ago. The emperor had these made for selfish reasons, but there’s no denying that his belief in the afterlife has been a goldmine for his country. There were a LOT of people there today, and as we were leaving, more busloads were arriving.

I saw this statue in the farmer’s gift shop. Buddha riding a water buffalo, apparently unruffled by the experience. How bizarre.

Here’s another bizarre statue. This one is of the youngest baby dragon, called Pichu. He is beloved by shopkeepers, businessmen and tightarses, because he eats gold, silver and gemstones, but he doesn’t have an anus so he can’t poo out any of the riches he swallows. His expression indicates that he has the worst constipation in the world.

After the terracotta warriors, we walked to a restaurant for lunch, then gathered outside. Maggie counted us all, then off we walked to the bus. We were on our way to the train station for another bullet train ride to our next stop. It was important that we didn’t miss that train!

We were at the bus when the word went out. Ross’s wife had just noticed that he was missing. omg

Maggie and one of the guys raced back to the restaurant to try and find him. Time went by…

We made it to the station with 10 minutes to spare. Apparently, he’d put his hand up for the head count, then saw something interesting in a shop. He glanced at it, and when he looked up all 39 of us had suddenly vanished.

I hope he gave Maggie a very good tip.

Blogless Sandy has been under the weather today. She’s been going on by force of will alone, because there was no way she was going to miss the warriors. It’s the highlight of the tour.

Meanwhile, I’m dowsing myself in hand sanitiser and hoping I don’t catch it.

Our next guide in Zhengzhou is called Domenic. When we arrived, it was 7:30 pm and it was still 36C. I think he’s used to dealing with tired Aussie tourists. We were on the bus not 5 minutes and he was selling cold cans of beer and water. The men were happy on the one hour drive to the hotel.

Dad Joke of the Day: