Financially Independent, Retired Early(ish) at 57.

Category: The ‘why’ of FI. (Page 1 of 24)

The Ligas’ Crazy Road Trip – Day 2: The Mornington Peninsula.

This day turned out to be a soft start to the Crazy Toad Trip because both Ligas slept in. Jet lag is not an easy thing to shake when you’re coming from the Northern to the Southern Hemisphere. 

Before they got up, I’d showered, dressed, packed the car with my things and had a first breakfast of a couple of delicious slices of a dark rye bread that they brought me from Latvia. Yum! There was also some chocolate and a divine hand-woven wooden wrap that I’ll cherish forever.

Finally, they emerged and Liga announced, “I’ll make pancakes for breakfast!” It turns out that her pancakes were more like crêpes. She made a stack of them and we all devoured them. Second breakfast!

You can see Liga in the kitchen, behind the stuffed kangaroo she bought for her daughter, while Liga2 was setting the table. 

After breakfast we loaded the car, said our goodbyes (poor Scout) and we set off. The plan was to do something before lunch at a winery, then do a couple more things before heading over to my sister Kate’s place to stay the night at her AirBnB at Mt Martha.

There’s method to my madness. The next day, I’ll be taking the girls along the Great Ocean Road. Staying at my sister’s place will save us getting up an hour earlier to get to the ferry at 9 AM. I decided that it was better to take the ferry to Queenscliff, rather than drive through the city at peak hour.

After a walk through the gardens at the Diggers Club property in Dromana, we drove to Trofeo Winery, just outside of Dromana.

This winery makes its wines in terracotta amphorae, like in Roman times, so I was curious to see what their wines were like.

Delicious, as it turns out!


The venue itself was beautiful, as you can see. All exposed brick walls, with huge windows and fairy lights strung up. The meal was beautiful, the wine was great and Liga was kind enough to pick up the bill for the three of us. It made me so glad that I cheaped out on taking them to the Point Leo winery, where the set menu for 3 courses was $100/head.

Trofeo winery was $69/head, so I felt good.


Afterwards, we went to the wine cellar and I bought a couple of bottles of wine to bring to Kate and Francis as a thank-you for hosting us. I liked the wine cork stools.
So what’s there to do in Dromana?

First off, we went to Arthur’s Seat. It’s the tallest spot on the Peninsula and has a chairlift going to the top. I’ve never been there, so off we went.

Honestly… don’t bother. The view is great, but most shots are spoiled by chairlift wires. There are children’s activities and some hikes, but we didn’t have time for them. On the way down, we stopped at a lookout on the side of the road and got much better photos. 


The next stop was the Dromana pier. Liga loved it because it reminded her of one of her favourite movies – “Requiem for a Dream.’ We walked along it. The sun was out and the wind was blowing and these girls were FREEZING. I couldn’t understand it. Surely they’re used to the cold in Latvia? It’s up near the Arctic Circle! Anyway, freezing they were.

Not like the tough Aussie they were with.


Liga wanted to have the sea water touch her toes, so she waded in the warm waters of Port Phillip Bay.

“It’s warm!” she said.

She found a jellyfish. 

Dromana Beach has a fine selection of bathing boxes. These are just wooden huts with no water or electricity attached, where people can come and use them when they’re at the beach. But ONLY if you own one.

The current price whenever one hits the market – which is extremely rare – is around $300,000 upward.

Then we went to my sister’s place. She and her husband have turned the first floor of their house into an Airbnb apartment and they’ve done a spectacular job. Two things my sister knows how to do well are interior design and customer service. This place is going gangbusters and it deserves to. (It’s called ‘The Manor’ in Mt Martha if you want to have a peek.)

We had a lovely evening. We sat on the lawn and polished off the wine we brought, then we went for a walk on the boardwalk over the creek. 

THIS IS WHERE I SAW A LIVE SNAKE IN THE WILD FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE! I was walking along, chatting to Kate while the Ligas were behind, when I glanced off to the side and saw a pile of coiled scales in the sun.

No photo, I’m sorry. We were all so excited and the poor thing couldn’t cope with the emotion, so it slid away under the boardwalk. The photo above shows the other wildlife in the bush – my sister’s dog Huxley. This was just before he decided to go and jump in the creek so he could smell of creek water for the rest of the night.

I was so pleased and surprised that I saw that snake. So was Kate. She knows how unobservant I am.

“I can’t believe YOU saw it!” she said.

“This is Holiday Frogdancer,” I said. “She’s different from Everyday Frogdancer!”


Francis had a great idea that he’d prepared for the girls. He bought 6 Aussie snacks, and he had us all eat them. The girls rated them out of 10. There were Timtams, Wagon Wheels, Chokito bars, Clinkers, and Cheezels (my nemesis…).

When I was 7 I ate 3/4 of a box of Cheezels and then threw up. I have never been able to look a Cheezel in the eye again. Here they all are, traumatising me.

It was so much fun! Here is Liga playing the Clinkers game, were everyone guesses which colour the clinker is, then you bite into it to reveal the answer.

The consensus from the girls was that Clinkers and the Cheezels were the best. 

Tomorrow was when the road trip swung into high gear. We have a lot of ground to cover to get to Uluru by Wednesday!

Dad Joke of the Day:

The Ligas’ Crazy Road Trip, Day 1. Healesville Sanctuary.

Well, the Liga’s are here!

Quick code for telling them apart when I’m writing. Liga is my Liga from Antarctica. The other Liga will be ‘Liga2’ because she’s called Liga too.

I picked them up from the airport, and we went home to a lovely dinner cooked by Georgia: pizza straight from our pizza oven. Too easy! (At least for me.)

The agenda for the first day of the trip was to take them to Healesville Sanctuary to see all of the Australian animals, birds and reptiles. Liga was feeling almost personally attacked by the weather. She was freezing cold in Sydney and it was showering today in Healesville.

“Who ever heard of it being cold in Australia?” she protested. But apart from the weather, I don’t think we could have had a better day at Healesville. The animals and birds really turned it on, and I think that it was probably a good thing that the skies were grey. We practically had the whole place to ourselves.

We saw everything they wanted to see. It was funny to see the animals through others’ eyes. We were in the kangaroo enclosure and Liga said, “It’s incredible to think of how a kangaroo is put together. Front legs like a bunny, ass like a deer…” I’d never thought of kangaroos like that. To me, they’re just everyday, normal animals.

We were walking towards the platypus building and Liga said, “We have similar animal in Latvia called Beaver.” I thought to myself, ‘She has no idea how small a platypus is!’ I kept quiet and yes – she was surprised. She also thought the Tasmanian Devils would be “small, like rat.” Wrong again!

Spoonbills. I wonder how they got their name???

The animals really came to the party. Here is a male koala calling the girls.

Liga has a thing for koalas and we saw plenty, including a mother cuddling her joey. The only thing that would have made it perfect for them is if they were allowed to hold, or even pat the koalas, but the Sanctuary doesn’t allow that as it stresses the koalas out.

The Tasmanian Devils were something I was looking forward to seeing. I saw them here when I was a child and I’ve never forgotten it. When I came here on my Little Adventure a couple of years ago, they were sug in their burrows and refused to show themselves. This time though – we were there at feeding time!

Cranky little buggers. They were fed a mix of wallaby, possum and fish. All the bones, fur and scales were left on, as Tassie Devils are scavengers.

The Ligas were very excited to see them. Liga2 said, “The Tasmanian Devils aren’t in any zoos in Europe as far as I know. We don’t get to see them.” She bought a Tassie Devil soft toy for her kids as a souvenir.

We went to the open-air bird show and it was lovely to see the look of delight they shared with each other as an eagle flew over their heads. So many little things were just perfect – except for the showers and my internal freak out when my phone died and I had enormous trouble finding a charger. Fortunate Frogdancer finally found a girl in the café who had one, so the day was saved. (I needed Google Maps to get back to the Maroondah Highway… Phew!)

If I was unlucky enough to be reincarnated as a bird, I bet this would be me…

The next morning we loaded up the car and set off for a day on the Mornington Peninsula – the first leg of our Crazy Road Trip.

Dad Joke of the Day:

Wednesday W’s #119.

What’s top of my mind: The Ligas will be here in a week!

Yes, I have one short week to get my shit together for the Crazy Road Trip, which astonishes me. This trip was in the future for so long – how could it suddenly be almost in the present?

I’m finishing off a quilt for Liga’s daughter, then I have to pack, buy provisions and work out how to bring as many library books as I can for the third leg of my holiday. I’ll talk about this more below, but anyone who has travelled in the outback and Queensland and outer NSW – I’ll be interested in any tips you may have.

I’ve decided to do a BIG road trip.

Where I’m going: to the ‘back o’ Bourke!’

Younger and overseas readers may not know the expression ‘back o’ Bourke.’ Bourke is a town in far western New South Wales which used to stand on the edge of nothingness. If you went to the back of Bourke – there’s nothing there.

I’ve decided that I’ll stay there for 2 nights on my individual crazy road trip. Apparently times have changed and there’s a lot to do and see there now.

Where I’ve been: the VW dealership.

Two weeks ago, my trusty little Golf’s air conditioning packed up. It was blowing hot air on the driver and cold air everywhere else. NOT ideal for a road trip to Uluru in November!

That’s now fixed. I had her serviced and vacuumed as well. She’s ready for the drive of her life!

What I’m reading:

The Housemaid I enjoyed this one.

I really loved ‘Slow Horses’ on AppleTV, so I’ve ordered the series of books by Mick Herron and I’m working my way through them. I’m still waiting for the first one to get to the library, but I have books 2 and 3 here, so I polished off Dead Lions a couple of days ago. I’m excited that there are 8 in the series – they’re very well-written.

What I’m watching:

River Cottage Australia and Last Week Tonight on Binge.

Ru Paul’s Drag Race Down Under and True Detective on Stan.

The Block on channel 9. Auction day on Sunday, just before I leave. Woo hoo!

What I’m listening to: The Zombies list on Spotify.

I found another good list to bop along to!

What I’m eating: Anything that’s in the house.

Once I’m gone, Georgia will have full access, so I’m eating and drinking the good stuff before I go. Is that wrong?

What I’m planning: Here’s the itinerary for the next 3 weeks…

November 12 – 20: Melbourne; Healesville Sanctuary: Mornington Peninsula; Great Ocean Road; The Grampians; Adelaide; Port Augusta; Coober Pedy and Uluru.

This is with Liga and Liga. It’s an action-packed itinerary and I don’t think they have any idea about just how much ground we’ll be travelling.

Once I drop them off at Uluru, I stay a night with them, then I’ll be heading off. Here’s what I’m thinking at the moment. Anyone who has done this trip before – I’d love your thoughts!

November 21: Uluru to the Devil’s Marbles Hotel. (850 km and 9 hours drive.)

I’ll probably be too tired to go and see the Devil’s Marbles when I get there, but I’ll definitely start the morning off with a viewing!

November 22: Devils Marbles Hotel to Barkley Homestead. (500 km and 5 hours drive.)

(After 2 really long driving days, – Coober Pedy to Uluru is an 8 hour drive – I thought I should have a couple of shorter days.)

November 23: Barkley Homestead to Mt Isa. (450 km and 4.5 hours drive.)

November 24: Mt Isa to Winton. (470 km and 5 hours drive.)

In the morning I thought I could do a mine tour at Mt Isa. After all, when am I ever likely to be in a mine again?

November 25: Winton to Charleville (700 km and 7.5 hours drive.)

November 26: Charleville to Bourke (453 km and 5 hours drive.)

November 27: Bourke.

There’s a paddle Steamer on the Darling River, Fred Hollows’ grave, a historical homestead and lots of bushwalks. Two nights here sounds great.

November 28: Maybe Griffith???? (524 km and 5.5 hours drive.)

It’s halfway between Bourke and Lake Crackenback Resort, which is where I need to end up. I don’t know that there’s much to see at Griffith though. Still, I could probably catch up on blog posts or start one of those books I’ll be taking.

November 29: Griffith??? to Lake Crackenback. (454 km and 6 hours drive.)

I have a week booked here from my timeshare. I have an inkling that I’ll be pretty tired from all of the racing around, so I plan to read lots of books and do pretty mundane things while I’m here. I’m going to take the chairlift to the top of Mt Kosciuszko, which is Australia’s tallest mountain.

Plenty of naps will also be happening as well.

So what do you think? Is my solo drive doable? Is there anything that is a “must-see” along the way?

Who deserves a thumbs-up: Scout.

She’s gradually getting used to being an only dog. I’m still not sure how she’ll take the long absence, but it’s something she has to get used to. Next year I’ve booked 16 weeks away…

What has made me smile: the girl who bought Jeffrey’s Cardisure tablets.

I had 9 packets of Jeff’s heart tablets left after he died. I bought them from an online animal pharmacy company because they are miles cheaper than buying them from the vet. I knocked even more from the price I paid and put them on Marketplace, thinking that someone would come across them and know that they have an absolute BARGAIN on their hands.

This happened this morning. A young girl turned up to buy them, overcome with how much money she was going to save. Her vet makes her pay for a blood test every 6 months for a 15.5-year-old dog, PUS paying $90 for a phone call afterwards to discuss the results.

Yikes!

I had a magnet on my fridge with the details of my vet on it. I gave it to her, telling her that switching from her vet to mine would be worth the drive.

Dad Joke of the Day:

The unstructured retirement.

Yesterday I took Scout down to the beach. We’ve been avoiding it since she had a lump removed from her back a week ago, but it’s healing nicely and her little jacket hides it away from the sand.

We arrived around 10:30, just when the classes at my old work would crowd through the halls for recess. My view was far nicer, and so were the smells. Hormonal year 8 boy smell is no joke.

My unstructured retirement plan is working nicely.

By ‘unstructured’ I mean that I’ve deliberately avoided putting regular things in my schedule when I’m at home. I don’t belong to any clubs or classes, I don’t have a regular café meet-up on a Monday… that sort of thing. I deliberately keep my days as free as possible, so that I have the freedom to wake up each morning and choose how I’m going to spend my time.

Maybe this freedom wouldn’t work for everyone, but teachers’ lives are STRUCTURED, with every minute accounted for as soon as we set foot through the gates each day. When I was there, the periods were 48 minutes long. Every minute was accounted for, with the bells punctuating each day. It’s very regimented.

Now? After decades of this, I’m loving how the days slip like pearls through my fingers.

It’s worth all of those years where I worked hard and watched every penny, scrimping to keep the mortgage on a downward trajectory. The years where I taught and did Thermonix and raised my four children were BUSY, but now I feel I’ve earned the right to be lazy.

Some days, it’s enough that I start and finish a book. I’ll indulge my natural laziness. Other days, I’ll be out in the garden all afternoon, working to try and ensure that we grow the maximum amount of food we can.

Pretty much every day, I do what I FEEL like doing. It’s not a bad way to live a life.

As an aside, I really tried to stop aiming for the maximum amount of crops this year, as I’ll be travelling so much next year when everything is ready to be harvested. I only bought 3 tomato plants, instead of trying to cram a thousand of them into the garden beds. Then I was given 8 tiny tomato seedlings from someone at Walking Group. It seems to be my destiny to grow tomatoes by the tonne.

When I say I’m naturally lazy, I’m not really joking. My default position is sitting on a couch, with a book in my hand. The years of working, where the important parts of my life were crammed around work, now seem like a dream. I’m able to rate my productivity in actions that advance my happiness, rather than in the number of grammar tests and essays marked.

At the end of each day, I spend a minute or so checking in on how I feel about the day just gone. I’ve learned that I like to feel productive, though of course ‘productive’ is a term that can mean many things.

Did I write a blog post?

Did I go out and socialise?

Did I create something?

Did I chase a vacuum cleaner around?

Did I book another holiday? (Haha!) I have to pay for Iceland today. Such a hard life…

Did I do something out in the garden/do the shopping/go to Bunnings?

A day when I feel that I’ve advanced in making my surroundings more how I want them to be, are the days when I smile and feel a warm glow of satisfaction. Something done in the house, the garden or the sewing room – whatever that ‘something’ may be – counts toward moving forward to the life I want to live.

I enjoy the unstructured life I’m creating when I’m at home. It’s especially sweet when I mix it up with the travel I’m planning. There’s such a contrast! I’m not doing slow travel – maybe I’ll save that for when I’m older. My travel is all go! go! go! I want to see ALL the places EVERY day!

Who knows? Maybe, as retirement goes on, I might gradually start to fill my weeks with activities. I already have the walking group each Thursday, which is the only commitment I feel ready for. I see Mum and Dad once or twice a week and talk to them most nights for a few minutes. Living with Scout and Georgia gives my days a loose rhythm. Everything and everyone else happens when it happens. That’s all I need right now.

People sometimes worry that they won’t be able to fill their days once they retire, so they keep working out of fear of being bored, even when they have enough money to pull the pin. This is such a shame, because boredom doesn’t happen once you’re free.

The freedom and ownership of your time is the key.

I don’t feel bored. Ever.

It’s because I have the freedom to stop and start any activity I choose. So if I’m doing something… say – reading a book – and I start to get a bit tired of doing this, I have the freedom to stop it, get up off the couch and do something else. I’m not bound by anyone else’s timetable. So I might grab the lead and take Scout for a walk. I might pop out to the garden and do a bit of weeding. I might call a friend for a chat.

And when I get a bit tired of doing that, I have the freedom to go and do something else right away. I have complete ownership of my time. Any activity I choose to do is because I want to do it. It’s such a different way to look at your time, instead of being in a job.

Total freedom is the greatest gift that you can give yourself. It’s precious and wonderful.

It’s worth working towards.

Dad Joke of the Day:

Days 14 and 15: The Ghan/Uluru/Darwin. The sunset cruise in Darwin and a race home to see my boy.

I woke up incredibly anxious to get home. The reason was that when we came back into internet range yesterday afternoon, I had 10 missed calls from Tom32 and Georgia, and there was this message in the family group chat from Tom32:

“Hey guys, So Jeff is on his last legs. He’s been bleeding from the nose overnight and his breathing has gotten worse. We’ve decided to hold off taking him to the vet until Monday, to either see if he makes a recovery or to give a chance for people to say goodbye. He’s still in his Jeff state, just slower.”

When I read that, I burst into tears on the bus. I couldn’t believe that it was happening AGAIN. It was a Friday. I’d be home on Sunday evening. I messaged Georgia and got more information. Jeff wasn’t in a good way.

As luck would have it, one of the people I’d been hanging around with on the tour (the guy with thongs on his feet) was a vet, so I had a quick consult with him. We agreed that we should leave it until I got home, as it was only 2 days.

In the morning, I asked Georgia to get my dressing gown for Jeff to lie on. It turned out to re-energise him. As soon as he smelled it, he jumped up and went on a full patrol through the house, looking for me. Georgia said, “Clearly, he thinks that life’s not worth living without you!”

I just wanted to get home to my little man. But I had a day of Darwin to get through first.

I decided that I’d go to the art gallery. After trying to walk for half an hour in 40C heat, I gave up and waited for the bus. I found that they’re both air-conditioned and free!

“Palipalintia 2024 – This painting depicts Palipalintja, a swamp and rockhole site west of Jupiter Well. During Ancestral times, a large group of Tingari men
camped here before continuing their travels east, passing through Wala Wala, Kiwirrkura and then north-east to Tarkul and Lake Mackay.
The lines in this painting depict the sandhillsin the area in which the Tingari men travelled. The Tingari song-cycle is a closely guarded secret, but in general the Tingari are a group of Ancestral Beings who travelled over vast stretches of the Country, performing rituals andcreating and shaping particular sites.”

“The golden gilded framing of ‘An Australian Landscape’ by Shannon Brett satirically romanticises a brutal honesty about race relations in this country. This photograph captures an ambiguous asphalt roadside defaced with racist taunts and symbols. Rather than discussing the idyllic countryside in the background, this work captures the violence in the Australian psyche which Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people encounter daily. “

Crocodile trap!

While waiting for the bus back to the hotel, I was chatting to a woman who was waiting for an Uber. She and her husband were travelling with a woman I’d seen earlier, who was in a wheelchair with her right leg stuck straight out.

They were 3 days into their trip when she’d fallen on a walk and wrenched her knee really badly. She’ll need surgery when she gets back home. It brought home why the guides kept insisting on safety when we were leaping all over places like Kings Canyon and Ubirr.

Accidents really do happen.

At around 5:30 PM, we made our way to the harbour cruise. I was put on the ‘singles table’ at the back of the boat, which turned out to be a pretty good place to take photos from.

Here’s how the sunset progressed:

Once the sun disappeared, I thought the show was over…

It is something that I’m glad I’ve done. It was spectacular.

The next day I was at the airport way earlier than I needed to be. I wasn’t going to miss my flight home! I had a little boy who was waiting for his Mum.

However I wasn’t too happy to see the difference in temperatures from Darwin to Melbourne. I had to pull apart all of my packing in my carry-on to unearth a woolly jumper and a scarf for when I landed.

Funny thing, I slept right through the whole flight from Darwin to Melbourne. In my head, it’s only like an hour long!

I walked through the door to see two little dogs (and a daughter) who were incredible glad to see me.

Scout wouldn’t stop barking for 10 minutes, while Jeffrey was jumping up on me and racing around, wagging his tail. His breathing was heavier than usual, though.

I said to Georgia, “I believe you. The true test will come tomorrow, when his little doggie brain goes back to life being normal again.”

Though Georgia showed me where Jeff had been sleeping. The blood stains were pretty bad. I don’t blame Tom32 and Georgia for being upset. However, I put a sheet over the top of my bed to protect my quilt and we snuggled in for the night.

I’m so happy that Jeffrey is here for me to come home to. It would have been very hard to bear a repeat of what happened with Poppy on my last holiday.

He’s a good boy.

Dad Joke of the Day:

Day 13: The Ghan/Uluru/Darwin. Part 3- When Frogdancer goes for a swim!

It’s funny how when you plan a holiday, it’s always swimming tantalisingly in the future. When you finally take it, it’s over in the blink of an eye.

So it is with this one. This is our last full day.

We stopped for morning tea at a roadhouse, where we saw some interesting number plates.

We also saw some pig hunters stocking up.

I loved the dogs! Zoom in on the cage on the truck. They were so excited to be off.

Quite. few of the roadhouses have pet crocodiles. Apparently, it’s a Territorian’s right to own a crocodile. You need a permit, so for $90 you can buy a crocodile and keep it as a pet. If you live in a city, you can only keep it until it reaches 1 metre in length, but out in the countryside you can keep it forever.

Screenshot

When we were back on the bus, I thought I’d check that app I was experimenting with. Polarsteps. It tracks everywhere you go.

Look at this trip! I’ve certainly covered some ground.

Look! Another fire.

And as we drove past, I just managed to catch the Whistling Kites hunting for mice.

We passed by a lot of mango farms. Each mango is picked by hand. The people who do it are a mix of backpackers looking to extend their visas by doing farm work, and men from the Pacific Islands.

We drove into Litchfield National Park. The waterfalls never stop flowing here. They’re all spring-fed, unlike the ones at Kakadu.

After lunch, we headed for Wangi Falls, where we could swim if we wanted to. When someone asked about crocodiles, Pascal said that the rangers come out after the Wet season and only open the waterfalls after 21 straight days of ‘no crocodile’ sightings. Then they check them weekly.

Ah, it should be alright! What’s the worst that could happen, right?

So beautiful.

It was absolutely lovely. There were lots of people there but it didn’t sound like it at all. Everyone was so relaxed and happy. People were swimming or walking on the boardwalk.

The last time I wore my bathers was when I did the Polar Plunge in Antarctica. I read the itinerary before I left so I knew there was a possible swim on offer. I packed my bathers, so this was the time to use them.

Dammit. When am I ever going to be here again? I was going to do it!

It was MAGNIFICENT. The water was 29C. It was a natural hot spring.

I stayed in there for ages. At first, I thought I couldn’t touch the bottom, but halfway along towards the cliffs there was a sandbank. Normal-sized people could stand there comfortably. By balancing on my toes like a ballerina, I was able to stay there and have a lovely chat with a couple who are travelling around Australia in a caravan for a year.

This is an experience I’ll remember. The surroundings were so beautiful, the water was the perfect temperature and I revelled in it.

We watched a guy climb high up the cliffs, then when he looked down he seemed to have cold feet. He stayed looking at the water below for ages.

“The thing is,” said my new friend the caravanner, “I was talking to a paramedic here. People get injured at these sites and they don’t stop to consider how long they’re going to have to lie there and wait for pain relief.”

“Oh my god!” I said. “I’ve never thought of that.”

“Yeah, it’s not like there’s a doctor’s surgery and a chemist just up the road, is it?” he said. “They sometimes have to wait for hours for an ambulance or helicopter to make it in.”

As we were talking, the guy gathered his courage and jumped. No paramedics were needed.

One thing we were warned about was the monitor lizard that lives in the park.

“Don’t leave food in your bag or he’ll rip it apart looking for it,” Pascal said.

When I finished my swim, people from the bus had moved my bag away from him, but I got back in time to see his head in one of my boots.

Our next stop was Florence Falls, which was very pretty.

Our next stop was the termite mounds.

These are called magnetic termites, as they angle their mounds to true north.

The other type is the Cathedral termites. One-third of the mound is above ground.

Termites carry their eggs on their heads, like cockroaches. Soldiers defend the mound from predators like birds, goannas and even other termites.

Queens live for around 50 – 70 years. As long as she’s alive, the mound lives. When the queen dies, the other termites die off and then the mound is up for grabs.

And suddenly we were driving into Darwin and the Kakadu tour was over. Sadly, I left my broad-brimmed hat on the bus, which annoyed me no end when I realised. Dinner wasn’t included, so after 2 weeks of gourmet meals, I wandered down to Coles and bought a salad and some wine.

Back to reality!

Tomorrow I have a free day in Darwin before our sunset Darwin Harbour cruise.

Dad Joke of the Day:

Day 12 – The Ghan/Uluru/Darwin. Part 3: The Oldest Art Galleries in the world.

I stood exactly where Crocodile Dundee was! The view was spectacular.

Have a look at the clip to get a feel for the place. It’s only a minute long.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Zoom in on the information board and you can see the walk that we did to see the art. Some people elected to go back to the bus before we did the big climb to the top, but we all did the first circle.

Pascal led the way. It was quite a walk to get to the first paintings, but it was pretty much all on flat, easy ground like this.

I found this fascinating. Except for Dreamtime paintings which can never be touched, the people used rock art to spread information. They painted over paintings when the information needed updating.

Look at the man’s swollen joints. Uranium is mined from here. The art is basically telling anyone who follows not to stay here for too long because they’ll get sick. They wouldn’t have known what caused it, but they certainly knew that it kept on happening.

Here is another warning.

Pascal told us many stories associated with the paintings, but I feel that they’re not my stories to tell. You’ll have to come here to hear them for yourselves!

This was a very old painting – one of the Rainbow Serpent, which is an extremely important Dreamtime creation character. Nothing has ever been painted over it, but you can see how thousands of years of water running down the rocks has washed away some of the colour.

Zoom in to read the story.

Pascal says that because of this story, you rarely see Indigenous kids left to cry. Someone around them always comforts them.

Walking along with Pascal and he pointed out the cockies sitting quietly above us in the tree. Would I have noticed them on my own? Not a chance. I have many excellent qualities, but being observant isn’t one of them.

This is the sort of country we were walking through. I love snowgums.

Now I’m sorry, but this derpy one is so my level of drawing!

Now this is wonderful. Zoom into the orange level underneath the overhang, which has protected it. It’s called ‘The Menu.”

Fish, fish and more fish!

Way up high is a drawing in yellow of a Mimmi spirit, under a large overhang which has protected it from the weather.

Remember? The ones who are shape-shifters and are unpredictable. They can be either good or bad. But how did the Mimmi spirit get up there to draw this in the first place? Trust me, it was very high.

The explanation is that when the Mimmi spirits want to leave a selfie, they pull down the cliff overhang, draw their picture and then put the cliff back again. Simple!

OMG.

The poor Tasmanian Tiger never stood a chance. They roamed all over Australia until the dingoes came around 4,000 years ago and wiped them out from the mainland. The poor little buggers survived in Tassie until the Europeans came and exterminated all of them because they were worried they were going to kill their sheep.

But look at this. At the top of Australia, here’s a drawing of one. It’s proof that they once lived here.

This is a closeup. Now look at where it is:

It’s up high, in between the two yellowy stripes on the left. Unsurprisingly, I needed a couple of people to point it out to me. I tried, but I couldn’t see it on my own.

Then it was time to decide whether to go back to the car park or climb to the top of the hill to see more paintings and the view. Naturally, I chose to climb. The car park people peeled off, and off we went.

Truly, things like this make me determined to keep travelling while I’m (comparatively) young and nimble. The view we were climbing to see was wonderful. I’m sure everyone who went down to the car park would have appreciated it, but they were either too old or too unfit to do it.

I have to travel while I can still see and do everything!

It was a scrambly sort of climb, and this was the view from what I thought was the top. As I said, not too observant.

Nice, hey? It was a little bit windy.

Here comes the rest of the group. I like to be in front when I travel.

But then I looked around…

And THIS was the top! Off I went again.

The view was amazing.

So was the wind! I don’t normally wear my hair in a mohawk.

It didn’t look as windy when Crocodile Dundee was here … just saying.

Those who clicked on the link about Jeffrey Lee will recognise some of the places I’ve been showing you. This is one of them.

The colours in this country are incredible. I expected the reds and oranges. What I didn’t expect were the blues and greens.

On the way down, we saw some more rock art:

Wallabies.

Just after taking this I was on my way down the slope and suddenly there was the noise of someone slipping right behind me. I knew it was a large man wearing thongs on his feet instead of boots. (For the American readers – he was wearing flip-flops, not scanty women’s undies.) I braced myself, thinking that if he loses control, he’ll slide right onto me.

Fortunately, this didn’t happen. But it makes you aware of how things can turn pear-shaped very quickly.

After this, we went to Nourlangie, after swinging by the hotel. Some people elected to stay at the hotel and swim in the pool. It was around 40C so I get it, but my thinking is that I’m probably never going to come here again, so I have to see EVERYTHING.

Off we went for more rock art.

Before we started on the walk, Pascal told us about the traditional owner of this land. All of Australia is split up into traditional lands and the head of a family group is like the top elder. He manages the land and though he has a council of elders, the buck stops with him. It’s all run on traditional family lines.

Jeffrey Lee is the traditional owner of the land that we’ve been touring today.

Next door is a French mining lease that is mining uranium. Jeffrey is the last of his line. When he dies, the land will pass to another family. When the French company found this out, they thought they had a wonderful opportunity to swoop in and grab more land for their mine.

They offered Jeffrey 100 million dollars. He refused. They kept calling him, upping the number each time. He kept refusing.

He bought a new phone with a different number to avoid getting their calls. This didn’t work. They kept calling and calling.

Fed up, in the end he booked a flight, went to France and told them NO to their faces.

They countered with an offer of 450 million dollars with royalties on top.

He still said no, but he was tired of it. So he sought help from Peter Garrett, who was minister for aboriginal affairs at the time.

He wanted to give his land UNESCO World Heritage status. It was made a part of the National Park a year later. All he wants is for the land, the art, and the creatures in it to be appreciated and seen by people worldwide.

This cockie kept chiming in on Pascal’s explanations of the art.

The only souvenir I bought on this leg of the trip was a magnet from the hotel gift shop after I saw these paintings.

See?

Here are some women in ceremonial paperbark skirts.

This is funny. When Leichardt was exploring around here in the 1840s and mapping out the countryside, he described a colourful cricket with brilliant shades of blue and orange. No European person saw these crickets for 100 years. Everyone thought he was just making it up and wondered what he was smoking.

Turns out that they exist. They’re named after him as a sort of posthumous apology.

After we finished here, Pascal took us to a billabong for a walk. He dropped us off and drove the bus up along the track for a way.

“Just stay 5 metres from the water and you’ll be fine!” he said as he drove off. Bloody hell…

It was stunning. Look at all the birds!

There was a soft breeze blowing, which was very welcome considering the heat of the day.

I overtook the people who were ambling along and talking. I was in front.

Suddenly I thought of the snakes that must be around here. I was in front and didn’t know if anyone else had been walking here today. Just to be safe, I began stomping my feet on the path as a warning to them to get out of the way.

It was so beautiful and peaceful. I passed a man who was sitting on a stool, painting. His campervan was parked behind him on the road. He had a hammock slung between two trees.

We nodded as I passed.

All too soon, I saw Pascal sitting on a picnic table, waiting for us. People asked about different types of birds that we could see. Apart from us, all we could hear was the distant sound of the birds talking to each other.

On the way home we saw a massive plume of smoke right in front of us.

“Look out for the Whispering Kites,” said Pascal. “You’ll see them just outside the smoke, waiting for the mice and reptiles escaping from the fire.”

It’s true. I saw them swooping in the air. I don’t think my phone caught them.

As I walked back to my room to get ready for dinner, I saw these cockies enjoying the sprinklers. The noise they were making!

Tomorrow we head back towards Darwin.

Dad joke of the Day:

Day 12: The Ghan/Uluru/Darwin. Part 2 – CROCODILES in Arnhem Land!

So far in this trip, crocodiles were thin on the ground and (apparently) thick in the water. Pascal kept assuring us that we’d soon see so many crocodiles that we’d get sick of the sight of them. I had my doubts – the water everywhere was the right temperature for the crocs to feel comfortable, so why would they pose for us?

But you should trust your tour guide. We arrived at the East Alligator River for an indigenous boat ride with Guluyambi cruises.

It was wonderful.

Before we got there, Pascal told us about Indigenous etiquette.

“Eye contact is a sign of aggression, so the guide will divert his gaze or wear sunglasses. He’ll probably look at the ground while talking to you, so don’t think that he’s being rude or evasive. Also a soft hold of the hand instead of a firm handshake.

“Men and women’s business is still being practised here. He’ll answer any questions he can, but if it’s about women’s business he won’t answer, or if it’s a thing that only initiated men know, he’ll dodge that answer too.”

As we hopped into the boat, we could see crocodiles sunning themselves along the banks. There were hundreds of them!

It looks like such a pretty, welcoming spot, doesn’t it?

Remember what Pascal was talking about in this post about how dangerous the Salties are? Believe me, NO ONE was tempted to hang bits of themselves out of the boat.

Especially when we began to see things like this floating in the water!

This croc wouldn’t move. Our boat had to steer around him.

Here’s another one.

“Rangers don’t manage the country,” said our guide. “Crocodile manage country. They eat anything that gets too numerous, they eat them. Including themselves…”


“Mating season, they give each other horrific injuries. They can stop the blood flow in that area until they recover.”

We saw a very brief spat between a large and small crocodile.

It was low tide, so people can cross the river here. During the day, people fish from here. But at night?

The guide never stays after 5 PM here. It’s too dangerous.

“Always take a light source at night, or best not to go out at all. 70% of animals do their activities at night. Crocodiles and snakes are all out hunting. Trust me, you do NOT want to step on one of these in the dark! Nah, by 5:30 I’m sitting in my chair, having a beer and watching the telly. I’m not going out and messing with these boys.”

You’re never alone in this place.

Egret, anyone?

I can imagine an animal pushing their way through the scrub towards the water, feeling protected by the foliage… then wham!

A little further on, the guide suddenly swung the boat around and showed us a bird. “You people are very lucky,” he said. “It’s not often you get to see a Great Billed Heron.”

I’m sorry. I tried to get a photo but it flew off into the trees.

There were some spears and a woomera stored above us in the boat.

“We’ve always made our spears light and flexible. When you throw it, the whipping motion pushes the spear into the body.

“We make the tip out of ironwood. It’s toxic. If you get that into you, you have to get it out straight away or you’ll be in trouble. If you’re hunting an animal, when it’s speared the ironwood makes them disoriented and foggy. Then it’s easier for the men to catch them.”

I thought that was amazing.

If you throw with a woomera attached at the end, it’s like the tennis ball throwing things that people take to the beach for their dogs. The woomera gives the spear 3.5 times more power.

As we were going along the river, the wind blew the hat off my head. Thank goodness I’ve got a cord under my neck or it would’ve been gone. 

Little splashes of water flew on the wind.

Beautiful!

“Geese, ducks, waterfowl eat the water chestnuts that are revealed when the waters go down. By September, they’ve eaten too much and this is when the people hunt them. They’re fat and lazy.”

Paperbark is used for many things.

” We use it every day.” Then he listed off  the following things, while I was trying my hardest to keep up with him in my notes:

“Raft made from bark from one side of 5 trees. Only take the bark from one side, don’t ringbark the tree, so the tree can recover. The bark is water-repellent. We make these when we want to cross the river so the crocs don’t get us.

Roofing.

For a sleeping mattress, we use the inner bark which is salmon coloured. We also use this for nappies and blankets. You wrap baby in blankets, it’s durable.

Bottom string wrapped on our spears.

Dilly bag, baby carried in it with the handle on her forehead and the baby on her back. The woman carries a digging stick, if she sees a lizard, she clubs it, wraps it in paperbark and puts it next to the baby. The baby doesn’t mind and she has dinner ready.

Wrap food in bark.

Use the leaves for herbs and spices.

Bush toilet paper. Inner is best.

Hats. 

Shoes for spiky country.

Canoe for sea journey from the trunk.”

“You can even get water from Paperbark,” he said. “See that bubble in the trunk? If you’re walking along and the river has dried up, you can put a hole in the bubble and get water. Of course, you only take what you need and you use the paperbark to plug the hole so the next person who comes along can use it.”

“What happens if someone doesn’t plug the hole?” asked somebody.

He laughed. “Ooohhhh, you wouldn’t want to be that person! From a small child, we are taught to only take what we need. Nothing more. You leave resources for the next person. That’s engrained in our culture.”

That’s true. Many of the stories that we’ve been told, both here and especially at Uluru, have been about the consequences when someone is selfish and goes against the code. They usually end up as a rock or reptile forever.

He pointed out a bird sitting in a tree above us. “Whistling Kite can see a mouse 2.5 km away. They keep an eye on things and clean up after hunters.”

We also saw Sea Eagles flying above us.

“Sea eagles live as long as us,” he said.”They bring whole animals back to their nests. They see everything. The sea eagles escort people back to country. if they die away from it.”


“This outcrop here is where our people used to come for a holiday. It’s a good activity place, steep and rocky so you can see the crocodiles coming. There’s also some rock art on the walls.”

I zoomed in on the cave behind the tree on the right:

“This is a good spot to hide from the kids!” he said. “The cave also has air conditioning. The wind blows right through it.”

Two-faced rock.

“The kids say it’s Homer Simpson taking a nap.”

This is a good place to avoid crocodiles. They don’t like rocks and hard surfaces on their soft bellies, so this outcrop is where we’ll be setting foot on Arnhem Land.

When he said that we’d be “setting foot on Arnhem Land”, I felt a tingle. I’ve seen the words ‘Arnhem Land’ on maps my whole life. It was so far away! But now, here I am.

Some people stayed in the boat because they were worried about crocodiles. Not me! I was up and out of there!

It wasn’t a huge climb, but the views when we got there were very pretty.

Well, here’s me, ruining the serenity! But here I am, on Arnhem Land.

Here’s the view from the other direction.

But hang on… wait a minute…

Yep! Crocodile in the water.

Imagine living here 60,000 years ago and coping with all of this? I was feeling much more admiration for the culture and people who lived here.

When I turned from the river, this was behind us.

I couldn’t help but see a face.

Here’s one with a person in it for scale.

We turned back towards the bus, saying a last goodbye to the outcrop upon which we stood. .

We slowed down as we came past this sandy beach.

“How’s this place?” asked our guide. “Does it look like a nice place for a picnic? A swim?”

When we all nodded, he said, “This beach is the best ambush place for crocodiles. They pull animals in as they come to drink. This place might look nice now, but at night it’s carnage. You can see tracks all over the sand and some don’t go back.”

Such a beautiful place, but so deadly too.

We headed back to our crocodile-shaped hotel for lunch, but it was a quick turnaround because we were going to look at Rock Art in the afternoon.

It was amazing! But that’s for another post…

Dad Joke of the Day:

Day 12: The Ghan/Uluru/Darwin. Part 1 – The Plane ride over Kakadu.

I took a lot of photos on this day, so I’ve decided to split them up into three posts. This one is the sunrise plane trip. The colours and the space we saw were just incredible. There are greens and blues here that you’d never associate with the Top End, but here we are!

This is the one full day we have in Kakadu, so it started early, with a “sunrise” plane flight over Kakadu. I put the word “sunrise” in quotes because it was past sunrise when we hopped onto the bus at 6:30 AM, but I suppose it isn’t safe to drive just before sunrise in these parts. There are too many animals running across the roads.

The planes were tiny.

The first thing we saw when we took off was the abandoned Ranger uranium mine. It’s like an open sore on the landscape. Pascal said that Rio Tinto originally promised to fill up the hole and that was all they were going to do, but after many protests, they agreed to leave the land looking as if it was untouched.

“Now, I don’t know,” said Pascal, “but I’ve driven past 5 years ago, 1 year ago and today and it all looks exactly the same as it did back then…”

Soon, we were past it and headed over to the first of the three types of land we’d be seeing. This is the savanna woodlands. Next would be the Stone Country and then the wetlands.

This is a view of us looking towards the Stone Country. There are 20,000 square kilometres of it.


The trees around the cliffs that look a little like broccoli store water in blisters on their roots. These were highly prized by the indigenous people who travelled through here. They are very slow-growing. They also produce an antiseptic, so whenever both the rangers and the indigenous people start a burn, they make sure to burn around these trees.

This is the East Alligator River, so named because the first European guy who mapped it didn’t realise that he was actually running away from crocodiles. He should have stayed a little longer and examined their snouts! It last rained here 5 months ago. You can see that the river is already starting to dry up.

For enquiring minds, an alligator (on the left) has a nasty, unintelligent-looking rounded face, whereas our crocodiles have a beautiful, evil, dachshund-shaped snout, just like a velociraptor.

Beautiful, isn’t it? I was so glad that I jumped into the plane first and got a window seat. But then again, everyone has a window seat.

A stone axe head found in an archaeological dig was 65,000 years old. These people have been here for a very long time.

They are the oldest bakers in the world. This is something that is never talked about, but it’s true. They’ve been grinding seeds to make their own version of flatbreads before anyone else thought of it.

Little waterholes dotted along the river, all probably full of crocs.

It seems to go on forever.

I swear erosion plays games! If I was in the UK or Europe, I swear I’d think this was a ruined castle.

The wetlands. It’s receding now. Back in June, this whole area would have been underwater.

I love the starkness of the road cutting through the landscape.

This is one of the very few roads in Kakadu. The wetlands are so precious and vulnerable that they’ve stopped anyone but rangers and the traditional owners of the land from walking in here. The waterways were getting choked by plants that were seeded by people bringing them in on their feet from other areas.

Now, we can only see it from the sky.

Migratory birds come here from China and Siberia.

1/3 of the park is burned every year.

The pilot said that sometimes when he’s flying, he can’t see more than 2kms either way for the smoke. Fires need to go through the scrub. It’s how the indigenous people used to control the undergrowth for thousands of years, and our trees and plants have evolved, with some seeds only able to open after there’s been a fire.

The trouble with the introduced species that the Europeans brought in with them is that they burn at a far higher temperature than our native grasses. This means that if an area is infested with non-native grasses and a fire comes through, it burns the seeds and kills them, along with the trees. This is why they’re trying so hard to keep these wetlands pristine. (Unlike what’s happened at Alice Springs/Uluru. Introduced grasses are everywhere and are hard to eradicate.)

There are no tracks in the park… the rangers use helicopters to drop the fire in grids, as you can see.

We swooped a bit lower so we could see that the fire still left the trees more or less untouched – it was all the undergrowth that had been cleared away.

How is this green even possible? I’m getting Ireland vibes!

I love the trunks of the ghost gums against the grass.

Just as we were making our way down to the airfield, we passed over an Aboriginal settlement. This is a small one.

Then we were back on the ground and ready for our next adventure. It was only 8 AM!

It’s funny. If this was an optional activity, I probably wouldn’t have done it. But I’m so glad I did. It was a wonderful feeling to see the landscape stretching away beneath me and to get a feel for the immensity of this place.

Next… the boat trip down crocodile-infested waters in Arnhem Land.

Dad Joke of the Day:

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