Frogdancer’s “Lazy” Road Trip – Day 21: The Top of Australia!

Windblown, sunburned and happy. This is me at the top of Australia’s tallest mountain.

But this was one of the toughest things that I’ve ever done. Climbing Mt Kosciuszko is not a job for the faint-hearted. Or chubby and unfit.

You start by going up a chairlift. Awesome! Go up a chairlift and then you’re there!

I wish.

There’s a ‘gentle’ walk from the top of the chairlift to the summit. They have provided a path that makes this walk idiot-proof. There’s no way you could miss the way unless you were actively trying to get lost.

It all sounds great, doesn’t it?

A walk of around 7 km – going UP. Then there’s another walk of 7 km – going DOWN. That’s a lot of km. The ones going up are brutal. I’m not kidding.

Add the wind which was blowing at such a hard rate that I had to take my sunhat and stuff it under my jacket. I never would have been able to keep it on.

Incidentally, look at all the water here. Remember the country I’ve been driving through that was so parched? Water is here in every direction.

It was a stark landscape, just rocks and grasses.

I was trying to put as much distance as I could between myself and a school group from Firbank Secondary College that had around 50 screaming teenage girls in it. I knew it’d take them a while to get them all up the chairlift, so I set off briskly (at first) so that I could hear just the wind and the birds.

And here’s where I have to apologise to the US, Canadian and European readers. I know I’ve posted shots of snow in these countries during their summers and laughed at them. Well – it was December 4 – summer. And here are snow patches in Australia.

These were the only ones and they were way up high…

But still. I apologise for saying that snow in summer is ridiculous.

This sign made me sad. I’d been walking for around 2 hours at this point. SURELY the summit was around the next corner?

Actually, when I said I’d been “walking” for 2 hours, that’s polishing a turd. I was walking a little way… stopping to get my breath back… walking a little more… stopping to say, “Fuck me!” and breathing hard and contemplating turning back… then I’d walk a little more and repeat. I was not enjoying myself.

It was AWFUL.

HORRIBLE.

There were two reasons why I didn’t give up and turn back.

1. I told the kids I was doing it.
2. I know how stubborn I am. If I turned back, I know that I’d drive up here and try again at some stage. Since I was here now, I may as well save the time and energy and keep going.

I gritted my teeth and kept walking. It was somewhere at this stage that I realised I could hear my waterproof jacket “Swish-swishing” as I walked. Remember Ming in Antarctica who never took off her Gortex jacket?

I laughed to myself and after a while I stopped hearing it.

People were starting to come down the path from the top.

Nearly there now!” they’d say cheerily.

But I kept turning corner after corner and it was obvious that they were toying with me.

The clouds were starting to get thicker, too.

Then there it was.

Holy hell – I did it!

It’s funny. Climbing Mt Kosciuszko has never been on my bucket list.

But I felt terrific, even with a sunhat stuffed under my jacket.

If I didn’t do this, I would have always felt it was a missed opportunity, seeing as I was staying in the neighbourhood. A bit like how I felt about going on the solo part of this Crazy Road Trip 2 weeks ago, or doing the Rim Walk in Kings’s Canyon a couple of months ago.

Incidentally – both walks are hard. But this one was way harder than the Rim Walk. I think it was because with the Rim Walk you know going in that once you get past the first 500 steps of absolute hell, then the rest of the walk is fine.

With Mt Kosciuszko, the steep incline keeps going on and on with very little respite. It’s prolonged agony instead of a short, sharp agony and then it’s over.

Fortunate Frogdancer strikes again. I was at the summit for 10 minutes, enjoying the clear views, then just as that loud school group showed up – yes, I beat them there! – the cloud began to roll in.

But the side where Perisher was? All clear.

I sat down, ate a nut bar and drank from my Antarctica Pee Bottle, enjoying the view and the sense of satisfaction. I had no idea which direction Melbourne was, or I would’ve waved to the kids.

After a while I got sick of the chatter from the school group, so I began to make my way down.

Every now and then, I’d been sending texts to Tom32’s fiancee Sophie. She grew up on the slopes of Mt Buller and I knew she’d like the views from here. She’s a mountain girl.

I told her that I HATED the walk on the way up, but I was looking forward to the views coming down.

I’m not kidding you – this rolled in just when I was around the other side of the summit. Have you ever seen anything like it?

I was uncomfortably reminded of the Stephen King story ‘The Mist.’ If hungry creatures were hiding here, there was absolutely nowhere to hide.

I decided to pick up the pace a bit, just in case.

Luckily, the clouds held off and I could still enjoy the vistas on the way down.

I took this shot because I was struck with the bright colours of the coats against the grass.

When they came up next to me on the path, the little kids were running. I gaped at their Mum and said, “They’re running???”

She laughed and said, “Yep. They’ll be exhausted tonight though!”

I wish I could show you shots of the huge views sweeping down from the path, but you know how cameras don’t pick up how vast landscapes can be.

It was a walk full of the spectacular. I wasn’t wrong when I said I’d enjoy the walk coming down far more than I did the walk coming up.

Water again. I liked the symmetry of this.

This nearly killed me. It’s pretty much the only part of the way down where the path looks like it did all the way up. See where it angles up the hill? I swear I had to pause 4 times up that bit to catch my breath.

However, much further along the way back, I saw something which made me feel like I’m doing the right thing with all this travel I’ve planned.

It was around 20 minutes from the end of the trek. I was idly watching a middle-aged couple coming up the mountain in front of me, when they stopped, gave each other a kiss and then the wife turned and began heading down the path towards the chairlift.

It was obvious that she’d realised that this walk was far harder than she knew (and I could definitely relate to that!) and she’d given up.

I don’t want to have to be the one who gives up. I want to see it all.

I walked behind her for a while before I overtook her. She wasn’t that much bigger than I am. I was surprised. She probably could have done it.

My last shot before I reached the chairlift!

All up, it took me 4.5 hours to get here and back, not counting the time I spent at the summit. They say that it takes between 3 – 6 hours for people to do it, so I was happy with my time, particularly as I’m unfit.

But it nearly killed me. I was DEPLETED by the time I hit the ground. My face was sunburned, especially my poor nose, and I had nothing left in the tank.

I texted Sophie and told her I was back down on the ground, then said, “It wouldn’t have killed them to make that chairlift end further up the mountain!!!”

It took everything I had to get to the car, go home, get up the stairs and fall on the bed to take a 2 hour nap. I was DONE.

I’m very glad I walked to the summit of Mt Kosciuszko, but this is one of those things that I only have to do ONCE.

I wonder how stiff and sore I’ll be tomorrow?

Dad Joke of the Day: